Bob's Burgers - Gets TB! - R.A. Wonsowski

• The set-up:  The unthinkable has happened - a McDonald's has opened next door to Bob's Burgers...

Panel 1 - ...BOB (left) stands in front of his storefront, fuming angrily, as SIMON MCDONALD (right) struts to the sidewalk space before his McDonald's, carrying a sandwich board sign.

Panel 2 - BOB starts scrabbling furiously at his slate sandwich board with a piece of chalk.  SIMON's is whiteboard with marker.  He stands pridefully,one hand resting upon the sign that reads: BEN's ROAST'n'ALL sandwich - a 1/2 lb. Roast Beef sandwich on a toasted bun with all the fixin's.

Panel 3 - BOB reveals his blackboard sign: the FRYIN' MAN-TON - 2/3 pound of shredded crispy deep-fried grilled burger topped with fried onions, fried tomatoes, and fried jalepeños, on a french-fried roll.  SIMON, meanwhile, reworks his sign in cartoonish clouds of dust.

Panel 4 - SIMON now stands smugly by his sign which now reads: the GRAND MAC - 3/4 lb. burger patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, on a sesame seed bun (patent pending). BOB, more angry, reworks his sign.

Panel 5 - BOB glowers at SIMON as he reveals his sign: the J.D. - 7/8 lb. burger, marinated in Jack Daniels, topped with Jack-Denby cheese and crispity frizzled onions.  SIMON reworks his sign again.

Panel 6 - SIMON angrily reveals his sign: the BIG MK - 1 pound of all-beef pattie, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, on a sesame seed bun (patent still pending). BOB furiously works again.

Panel 7 - BOB shoots daggers out his eyes as we read his sign: a caricature of Terrance Stamp's ZOD reads: KNEEL, JACK.O.B. - 5 quarter-pound patties topped with pepperjack, onions, and baked beans.  SIMON, near exhaustion, gives his sign one more go.

Panel 8 - SIMON, sweating, shows off his sign: RYAN's KI-LO - One full kilogram of beef, topped with cheddar, avocado, and crunch pork rinds.  BOB, lightbulb over his head, finishes his sign.

Panel 9 - BOB, arms crossed over his chest in victory, stands by his sign: the 1-SOW-SKI! - 1 kilo of chopped sirloin, topped with a pound of bacon, sandwiched between two skids of fried pork chop - comes with a side of Fried Chicken. (For the ladies: toss Shaun's Richest salad!).  SIMON carries off his sign down the sidewalk in defeat as we see his McDonald's is now closed.

Bob's Burgers - Breaking News - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: Bob is writing today's special, the "Burging Hammer: Kobashi-style Beef Burg with extra hot sauce" on the board.

Panel 2: Jon Benjamin, from Jon Benjamin Has A Van, walks intently into the shop with his crew, as he talks to the camera.

Jon: WE'RE HERE IN BOB'S BURGERS, A LOCAL HAMBURGER SHOP, TO ASK THE PROPRIETOR WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT THE WAR IN SYRIA.

Panel 3: Gene and Louise run in and start goofing off for the camera as Jon Benjamin points his microphone into Bob's face.

Bob: WHAT? WHAT IS THIS?

Jon: WAR IN SYRIA, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Panel 4: Bob shrugs as Gene and Louise keep messing around. Jon's expression stays the same.

Bob: UH, I DUNNO. PROBABLY PRETTY HARSH FOR THE SYRIANS, I GUESS.

Panel 5: Bob stares awkwardly into the camera, as Jon keeps staring at him and Gene and Louise keep mugging.

NO COPY

Panel 6: Bob, noticably anxious, starts to talk to Jon.

Bob: SO, WHAT, ARE WE DONE HERE? I HAVE THINGS TO DO. BURGERS NEED TO BE EATEN. BY PEOPLE.

Bob's Burgers - If Different Writers Wrote Bob's Burgers - J.D. Coughlan

Panel 1: In the art style of Ivan Reis. Close-up of a burger sitting on a counter. Very detailed.

CAPTION: Geoff Johns

BOB (CAP): My name is Bob Belcher.

BOB (CAP): When I was a child, my father would take me for a burger every weekend...

BOB (CAP): Then he died, and I vowed to make burgers every day of my life for him.

Panel 2: In the art style of John Romita Jr. Wide shot of Bob's burger joint. A thug in a leather jacket and balaclava smashes through the window, firing off a gun. Bob levels a shotgun at him from behind the counter. Customers and Bob's family run screaming.

CAPTION: Mark Millar

THUG: THIS IS A SHITTING ROBBERY!

BOB: Today's Burger of the Day: YOUR ASS-BURGERS!

Panel 3: In the art style of Bryan Hitch. Close up of Bob's face as he looks contemplative. Almost the entire panel is captions.

CAPTION: Brian Michael Bendis

BOB (CAP): Okay, here's the deal... I'm Bob, I make burgers.

BOB (CAP): But that's... Listen, that's not all there is to me, okay?

BOB (CAP): I got my family too. That's a whole other thing. Okay?

BOB (CAP): What I'm saying-- Look, listen... what I'm trying to say is... there's more to me than burgers, okay?

BOB (CAP): Seriously.

BOB (CAP): Come on!

BOB (CAP): ExACTly.

BOB (CAP): Okay?

Panel 4: In the style of Kevin O'Neill. Wide shot of the diner. There is an extraordinary level of detail in the background. Like, you can see characters' entire life stories. In the foreground, a mysterious customer sits at the counter, talking with Bob, and looking with far too much interest at his burger.

CAPTION: Alan Moore

CUSTOMER: What horrors from the Hells of Dante and Milton take form in this, a maddening gastronomic conflagration of what once were delicacies, sits now in front of me? Oh, for the bygone days when once a man could enjoy a simple meal without such grotesque deformities of former simplicities.

BOB: ...

BOB: So, you want ketchup with that?

END OF PAGE

Bobs Burgers – Fry Hard: A Christmas Special – Shaun Richens.

PAGE ONE – 5 PANELS.

1.1

Int. BOB'S BURGER SHOP. We can see the small figure of LOUISE BELCHER standing, her back to us, on a step ladder behind the counter. She wears her usual outfit the only difference being the ears on her pink hat hang down low pulled by the weight of christmas baubles she has attached to the end of each ear.

Louise is hanging a large sheet of paper over the burger menu.

LOUSIE:

Aw yeah. Christmas is here.

BOB (OFF PANEL):

Louise what are you going up there?

1.2

Louise now faces towards us and bob (still off panel.) Her hands behind her back trying to look as innocent as possible. Her body covers up whatever the sign she has hung up says.

LOUISE:

I'm just putting up the sign for the new christmas burger.

1.3

Cut to BOB. He is in his normal get up, greasy apron and all, he does however have a limp and slightly sad looking red santa hat on his head. He stands with his hands on his hips trying to give off an authoritative father vibe, but failing.

BOB:

I told you I'd come up with the new christmas menu.

LOUISE (OFF PANEL):

But Bob, this is guna be the best burger we’ve ever done!

1.4

Cut to reveal of the sign. It is written in bright red and green bubble writing and has a crude picture of a huge burger on it. The burger is overflowing with fries that have been stuffed in on top of the burger itself.

The sign reads:

Merry Christmas One and All!

Try our new

“Fry Hard” Burger.

An all in one action packed meal.

Yippee Ki-ya

The last line of the sign is cut off by the bottom of the panel, the top of a T, F and K can be seen peeking up in the same bubble writing but thats it.

1.5

Bob, red faced stands in front the sign trying to cover up as much of it with his flailing arms as he can. Louise, still standing on the step ladder, looks straight at her dad, her arms folded across her chest. She looks real mad.

BOB:

We have to get this thing down right away. We can't let the customers see this.

LOUISE:

But it's from my favourite Christmas film.

LOUSIE:

Where's your sense of Christmas spirit dad?

Bob’s Burgers – This #&$@*% Restaurant! – MK Stangeland Jr.

(6 Panels)

PANEL 1: GORDON RAMSEY stands in the doorway leading to the kitchen of BOB’S BURGERS. He has a look of solid disgust on his face as BOB stands behind him with an ignorant look of happy anticipation.

PANEL 2: RAMSEY turns around to face BOB.

RAMSEY (1): What the &^#% am I supposed to be looking at?

BOB: It’s the kitchen.

RAMSEY (2): No, this #$*% place is a %*&$# waste of space!

PANEL 3: BOB has a blank look of shock as RAMSEY berates BOB over his restaurant.

RAMSEY (1): To call this place a 0-bit greasy &%#*$ spoon would be an insult to 0-bit greasy spoons!

RAMSEY (2): I have never seen a worse %*^@$ restaurant in all my *%@&# life! And do you have any idea how many &%#@^ restaurants I’ve seen in all my life?

BOB: A lot of them?

RAMSEY (3): A lot ^%*$# more than a lot of them!

PANEL 4: BOB picks up a burger from nearby. RAMSEY is not impressed.

BOB (1): You haven’t even tasted the food yet.

RAMSEY (1): I can *%^&$ taste it from here.

RAMSEY (2): You know what it tastes like? It tastes like $#*^!

BOB (2): You must have really powerful tastebuds if you can taste food without eating it.

PANEL 5: We see the “Burger of the Day” sign as RAMSEY points out over his shoulder from the kitchen. The sign reads “Waffilling Station” Burger – Burger served on a Waffle bun.

RAMSEY: I would’t even have to $#&%* taste it, not when this place thinks that using the worst %&#@ puns as a %$&# sales gimmick is a good idea!

PANEL 6: The three Belcher kids – TINA, GENE, and LOUISE – are watching the scene from behind a counter.

TINA: Wow, he’s even more vicious in real life.

LOUISE: I like his energy and take-no-nonsense attitude!

(END PAGE)

Bob’s Burgers – Cinéma Vérité – Brian Manton

Panels 1-4 are the screen  from the viewfinder of a video camera. The REC light shows in the corner.

1.

The camera looks up at Teddy who holds a burger and looks down into the lens. Louise pokes her head into shot.

Teddy: Whatcha got there, Gene?

Gene (OP):  I’m a documentarian.

Louise:  He’s documenting our home environment for social services.

2.

Bob is just starting to wipe out the Burger of the Day sign which reads “This is Spinach Tap” Burger – with spinach

Louise’s hand juts into the bottom-left corner of the frame.

Gene (OP):  Uh uh. I’m capturing real life. Truth. Beauty.

Louise:  Then why are you pointing the camera at Dad?

3.

Zoom in on Bob’s bald patch.

Gene (OP): Man’s noble but futile struggle against the unimpeded onslaught of time.

4.

Linda has grabbed the side of the camera turning it toward her. With her other arm she pulls Tina close.

Linda (sings): Whyyy don’t you make it a muuuusicaaaal.

Linda (linked): Sing it with me Tina.

Tina: Nnnnnnnnn.

5.

Wide of the restaurant.

Linda sings loudly. Tina hesitantly sings with her.

Teddy sits at the counter, looking towards Linda and joins in on the song, losing a little bit of burger as he sings.

Louise rocks on the ground, blocking her ears, her eyes shut tight.

Bob stands behind the counter, face-palming. We can see the Burger of the Day sign now reads “Triumph of the Dill”.

Gene, totally deflated, looks at the ground. He holds the camera slackly by his side.

Linda (singing): Laalaa la laa LAAAAA!

Tina (small): la

Teddy (sings):  Laalalaaa.

Louise: Stop it! Stop it!

Bob: All of you stop.

Gene: I give up. You’ve ruined it now. I’ll probably end up in Hollywood.

Why Bob's Burgers?

Meet Bob - burger artist extraordinaire.

Bob's Burgers is an American animated sitcom created by Loren Bouchard. The series centres on the Belcher family – parents Bob and Linda, and their children Tina, Gene, and Louise – who run a hamburger restaurant.

While the Simpsons remain the most famous animated family, Bob and Co. are fast earning their place as one of the most relatable and likeable families on TV. There is a huge ensemble cast of extended family, friends, neighbours and customers and a healthy love of puns throughout. Though the situations they find themselves in are often absurd, the family dynamic is always believable and remains the core of the show. I guess it also helps that it is one of the funniest programmes currently in production - animated or otherwise.

So get ready for the grand re-re-re-opening of Bob's Burgers on Thoughtballoons!

P.S. I hope everyone includes a Burger of the Day pun :)
http://bobsburgerpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Burger_of_the_Day