She-Hulk - Trespassing - P. A. Nolte

1/ Jennifer Walters is in her element.  We’re seeing her from the position of the unknown person on the witness stand.  She’s talking up a storm, but we’re not going to be hearing much of it.

She-Hulk (Cap): Okay, Jen.  You can do this.

2/ The judge cocks an eyebrow.

She-Hulk (Cap): Just forget about friendship.  Loyalty.  Justice.

3/ Jennifer turns to face the jury, obscuring the witness stand. She’s starting to get frustrated.  Still talking.

She-Hulk (Cap): You can give Holliway your piece later.

4/ As she turns to wag a finger at the witness stand, she hulks out, ripping her skirt and jacket in that barely tasteful way only She-Hulk can pull off.

She-Hulk: A building which he owns!  Legally!  Which you had a major part in destroying, along with years of scientific research and millions of dollars in equipment!

She-Hulk: And this is far from the first time!

She-Hulk (Cap): Sorry, Pete…

5/ Spider-Man hangs his head sheepishly.  Shulkie’s regained her composure, but she’s still big and green.

She-Hulk: For all previously enumerated charges, violation of the protective order, and trespassing.  In the case of Spider-Man v Dr. Otto Octavius, there can be no doubt—

Spider-Man: Man…

She Hulk: "Manhattan, The Living Island"--David Press.

PAGE ONE: Four wide panels.

1.1: Coming in with an aerial shot of She-Hulk’s Jay Street office building—it’s a beautiful clear day without a cloud in the sky and a blazing yellow sun.

CAPTION:                             68 JAY STREET. BROOKLYN, NY.

1.2: Interior of the office building: specifically, the office of Jennifer Walters, She-Hulk, same office configuration as the Charles Soule/Javier Pulido run on the title. Jen is on the left hand-side of the panel, closest to the window and facing the door; ANGIE HUANG is opposite facing the reader; PATSY WALKER—Hellcat—has her back to us.

Make it so the picture rumbles a little bit like the building has been hit by an earthquake.  

CAPTION:                             The law offices of Jennifer Walters, ESQ., PLLC Attorney-at-law.

 SFX:                                      RUMBLE.

1.3: Jennifer, Patsy, and Angie rush out into the hallway where the rest of the tenants are standing. Let’s have some wavy lines around everything showing the picture is shaking.

JENNIFER is helping SHARON—the landlord—up to her feet.

SHE-HULK:                           I’ve got you…

SHARON:                              Everyone to the shel—

VOICE [No Tail]:                   I’m looking for JENNIFER WALTERS.

1.4: They’re down the stairs from the office building and staring at a red brick wall that is taking the shape of a human figure.

JENNIFER:                            That’s me. To whom am I speaking?

1.5: The WALL FIGURE extends out and it shows a distorted, plant-humanoid figure in the wall.

VOICE:                                   GORE! The son of the LIVING ISLAND!

She-Hulk - One Crummy Ploy - Perry Kent

Panel One

Exterior, day, rainy New York sidewalk. She-hulk tries to shield herself from a giant splash of water as a cab drives by.

1. SHE-HULK: Ah, not again!

Panel Two

Interior, day, sky scraper lobby. She-hulk yells toward the nearly closed elevator as she walks into through the lobby. Her clothes are soaked and dripping.

2. SHE-HULK: Hold the elevator!

Panel Three

Interior, reception, law office. She-hulk exits a door marked "Stairs" into a reception area. The chipper receptionist greets her. She-hulk looks soaked and bitterly angry.

3. RECEPTIONIST: Good morning, Ms. Walters!

4. SHE-HULK: Easy for you to say. Do you know how hard it is for a green gal to get a cab in this city?

Panel Four

She-hulk attempts to open her office door, but the door is locked and won't budge.

5. SFX (small, doorknob): Locked!

6. SHE-HULK: Of course... Left the key at home.

Panel Five

She-hulk rips the office door off it's hinges and out of her way. She has a grim smile on her face.

7. SHE-HULK: I hope this shitty morning isn't a plot device to get me to meet a maintenace man.

- END - 

She-Hulk – The Red Green Show (Part x) – MK Stangeland, Jr.

(6 Panels)

Panel 1: Post-Chaos. Both SHE-HULK and DEADPOOL are sitting on something that passes for a bench as collateral damage lies all around them, both look worse for the wear and in serious need of a breather after a rather spectacular fight of some kind.

Panel 2: Continuation of PANEL 1, as SHE-HULK and DEADPOOL continue to sit there.

YELLOW BOX: Well that happened.

SHE-HULK: *angry grunt*

Panel 3: Further continuation of PANELS 1 and 2. SHE-HULK reaches up and grabs YELLOW BOX (2), noticeably crushing it with her grip.

DEADPOOL (1): (Thought Balloon) Did we actually accomplish anything?

YELLOW BOX (1): We accomplished entertainment, that’s what we accomplished!

DEADPOOL (2): (Thought Balloon) Ah, right.

DEADPOOL (3): (Thought Balloon) So who’s ready for Round 2?

YELLOW BOX (2): In bed, maybe. If you know what I mean.

DEADPOOL (4): Bow chica bOW! OW! OW!

Panel 4: SHE-HULK swings YELLOW BOX (2) from PANEL 3 at DEADPOOL like a club in a one-handed backhand, the rest of her body hardly moving. DEADPOOL goes flying into the air and into the background at high speed as result.

SFX: HULKSLAPPED!

Panel 5: SHE-HULK remains sitting as she breaks YELLOW BOX (2) from PANEL 3 across her knee as DEADPOOL lands somewhere in the background behind the rubble and destruction beyond where we can see.

SFX: (From PANEL 3 YELLOW BOX (2)) wrr-ECKED!

SFX: (From DEADPOOL landing) thd

Panel 6: SHE-HULK tosses the two halves of PANEL 3 YELLOW BOX (2) aside.

DEADPOOL: (Far in the background, not actually seen) ow

(END PAGE)

Why She-Hulk?

Before Deadpool, there was Jennifer Walters, AKA the Sensational She-Hulk.

It’s not as an absurd comparison as it might first seem. Both got their origins from very similar pre-existing characters. Both were played seriously at first before developing into the more light-hearted versions that we know and love today. Both take massive amounts of punishment and keep on going. And of all the characters at Marvel, they’re by far the best known for their habitual breakage of the 4^th wall.

Odds are that if Thought Balloons existed decades ago instead of now, it might well be this ‘Why?’ instead of Deadpool’s that would be written in-first person.

On the other hand, Deadpool’s managed to headline multiple titles at the same time to the point over oversaturation, his own video game, makes regular appearance in animated Marvel works, and even has a unexpectedly popular movie.

She-Hulk…less so. But hey, no analogy is perfect.

But I digress. The point is that for a character that started out so connected to the original Hulk, Jennifer Walters has come a long way into her own, where oftentimes the connection between Hulk and She-Hulk is an much an afterthought as anything. She’s got a well-established on-again-off-again career as a lawyer, has been on at least half a dozen different teams, has an infamous reputation surrounding her love life, and when you get right down to it, probably runs circles around Deadpool when it comes to actually breaking the 4^th Wall – Deadpool merely acknowledges his existence as a comic book character more often than not. Jen? At her best, the darn thing might as well not even exist.

Ultimately, she’s a highly versatile, highly fun character with lots of potential. So lets put some of the potential to work, shall we?

Luke Cage – Cage of Law – MK Stangeland Jr.

(5 Panels)

Panel 1: Film Screen-style panel, located in a Latverian Castle. A character representing DR DOOM faces off against NICOLAS CAGE – who is dressed up to look like LUKE CAGE, complete with makeup in the style of RDJ from TROPIC THUNDER, and has just crashed through a door in DR DOOM’s castle.

CAGE (1): Sweet!

CAGE (2): Christmas!

Panel 2: LUKE CAGE and SHE-HULK are in a law office, reviewing the film in question.

LUKE CAGE (1): Ya know, I’m starting to think I might be happy to just let this happen.

LUKE CAGE (2): Not even bother taking them to court.

SHE-HULK: Dare I ask why?

Panel 3: LUKE CAGE and SHE-HULK, talking as they continue to watch the film.

LUKE CAGE (1): You see the mess they’re putting together?

LUKE CAGE (2): If this doesn’t absolutely crash and burn and embarrass everyone involved, how you think the real Doc Doom’s going to react when he gets a load of this?

SHE-HULK (1): Oh.

SHE-HULK (2): …

SHE-HULK (3): Oh.

Panel 4: SHE-HULK turns to LUKE CAGE.

SHE-HULK (1): Luke, as your Lawyer? I have to question the ethics what you’re proposing.

SHE-HULK (2): As an Avenger, I have to express concern that what you’re thinking verges on supervillain territory.

Panel 5: SHE-HULK and LUKE CAGE, grinning, but in a joking ‘it’s fun to fantasize about’ way.

SHE-HULK (1): But as your friend?

SHE-HULK (2): I like the way you think.

(END)

Deadpool – The Red Green Show – MK Stangeland Jr.

Deadpool – The Red Green Show – MK Stangeland Jr.

(Pool-o-vision. ‘Nuff Said)

(6 Panels)

Panel 1: Location – The Old West. Deadpool stands on one end of a dusty Main Street running through the middle of an old time frontier town, the kind you see in every western ever. Over his traditional costume, he’s wearing a deadpool-themed poncho, a massive sombrero, and has bushy, Mexican-style mustache on the outside of his mask. A tumbleweed rolls across the panel foreground.

SFX: (Music note on each end to indicate that this is ‘background music’ – it’s meant to give the feel of the theme from ‘the good, the bad, and the ugly’ is playing in the background of the scene) Wah-na-wah-na-waaah

DEADPOOL: Hola, el senorita ameiga. Nos es el meeto againo.

YELLOW BOX: Spanish? We don’t speak Spanish!

Panel 2: The other end of the dusty road – SHE-HULK, dressed up in cowgirl garb: blue jeans, shirt and vest, cowboy hat, boots, revolvers in holsters, the works. The tumbleweed from panel 1 has moved to this panel.

SFX: (With music notes, continuing the ‘background music’ from the previous panel) wah-Wah-wah

SHE-HULK: Nice touch.

YELLOW BOX: She can see this?

SHE-HULK: Of course I can.

Panel 3: Close-up on Deadpool. He’s grasping one end of his mustache between two fingers.

SFX (With music notes, continuing from previous panels) Wah-na-wah-na-waaah

DEADPOOL: Et aparece mey tu underestimetio!

YELLOW BOX: No!

YELLOW BOX (2): Hablo!

YELLOW BOX (3): Espn!

YELLOW BOX (4): Yol!

Panel 4: SHE-HULK stands with her arms crossed in front of her. She looks directly at the YELLOW BOX in-panel as she speaks to it directly.

SFX: (With music notes, continued from previous panel) wah-Wah-WAH

SHE-HULK: That doesn’t even sound like real Spanish.

YELLOW BOX: How would you know? Do you speak Spanish?

SHE-HULK: I know enough to tell fake Spanish when I hear it.

Panel 5: DEADPOOL points at SHE-HULK (off-panel) in a dramatic fashion.

SFX: (With music notes, continued from previous panel) Wah-na-wah-na-waaah

DEADPOOL: El stoppo le talko!

Panel 6: DEADPOOL draws a pair of revolvers and fires them – rather than bullets coming out, however, the revolvers are shooting pencils, with the eraser end pointed forward.

SFX: (With music notes, continuing from the previous panel but cut off at the end) WAH-Wah-wah-WrRrRRr!

DEADPOOL: Drenaje!

SFX: BAM! BAM! BAM!

(END PAGE)