Year Five - You Can't Kill Words

Thought Balloons is 5 years old.

You know this, seeing as we just went through an entire week celebrating the fact, but it is an accomplishment that is worth emphasizing.  That said, just like in writing, there's no time for resting on laurels.  You have to keep pushing forward, and we will.  Which is why, as has been alluded, there are some changes coming Thought Balloons' way this year.

The first notable change has to do with our weekly picks.  For five years the main restriction for our picks was that it had to be a character who has appeared in a comic at some point in time.  As limitations go, it's pretty broad, and lord knows we've stretched it here and there, but we've stuck to it.  And in that time, we've gotten pretty darn good at playing in other people's sandboxes.

Obviously, next logical step is to blow up the system completely.  Okay, maybe that isn't necessarily the logical next step, but it never hurts to shake things up.  Think of them less as picks and more as Inspirations.  The Inspiration for the week could be as specific as a particular line of dialogue or as general as an entire comic book run.  More than that, it doesn't have to be limited to comics.  The Inspiration could be a movie, a song, an album, a work of art, an idiom, or anything and everything in between.  Interpretations of this will understandably differ, but as long as it Inspires interesting scripts, it's fair game.

That being said, we aren't completely turning our back on the past.  Comic book characters will still be fair game for the weekly Inspiration and we'll still take time for things like movie-tie in weeks, but there will be more options for us to work from.  Think of it as enlarging our toolbox and not going out to get a new one.

Speaking of the past, another proud tradition we have at Thought Balloons is encouraging people to play-at-home and throw up their own scripts in each week's Why? post - heck, it's how most our members got their start here in the first place.  That policy is obviously sticking around, but going forward we're hoping to bolster it with a more proactive approach.

Which brings us to our second major change for the year.  We're reaching out to others to come and write with us for short stints as guest members.  A sort of Writer-in-Residence to our tenured membership, if you will.  They'll come in to write with us, making posts and picking Inspirations along with the rest of the team.  We're on the lookout for all types, including those who have been in the game for a while, folk who may just be starting up the grind, and even people who aren't in it - yet.  We have a blast working on these scripts week in and week out and are super excited to share that with as many and as diverse a group as we can.

I'm happy to report that we've already locked in an ace writer for our first week of the new initiative.  You may have heard of him before.  He's charming, clever, and has one of the strongest hustle games you'll ever see (not to mention beards).  He's got his fingers in all kinds of comics book pies, including a mini from Dark Horse starting this summer, a now complete MonkeyBrain digital comic that has been released in physical form by IDW, and likely plenty more that he's yet unable to share with us.  Among his many other accomplishments is founding Thought Balloons, a site that you may have heard of.  That's right, our very own Ryan K. Lindsay is back for another kick at the can for this week only!  And what will he be picking?  Well, that would be telling...

Why Thoughtballoons? - Ray Wonsowski

Because Grandpa Joe, who bought me my first comic book, a Detective Comics, Batman facing off against the Riddler...

Because trading comics with my high school buddy Greg. I traded my entire Firestorm run for his complete set of John Ostrander's Suicide Squad and some choice John Romita Jr Daredevils (pretty sure I got the better side of that deal).

Because the 90s, when so many comics were style over substance, and I still managed to find Vertigo, the British Invasion days, and you know who I'm talking about: Gaiman and Moore, Morrison and Milligan, and my hero Warren Ellis (we'll be coming back to him later).

Because when I screwed up my relationships, lost jobs, and the band broke up, I could disappear into Jack Kirby and Frank Miller, Walt Simonson and Denny O'Neil.

Because Comics Fortress in Somerville NJ, who introduced me to Warren Ellis's Transmetropolitan, at the exact moment that I needed it most, restoring my faith in both people and the medium I love.

Because when I was far from home, southeast Asia or South America, digital comics were my bridge back home, Aja's Iron Fist and Abnett & Lanning's Marvel Cosmic, and Warren Ellis taking over Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-men, and Ed Brubaker's Captain America saga.

Because, thanks to comics, I can share Chris Nolan's Dark Knight and Marvel Studio's Avengers films with my wife. I can imagine and play and watch and CREATE with my kids.

Thoughtballoons is how I give back.

Because you will never find a writer's circle like this one. This is where we break our teeth. This is where we throw our ideas and see what sticks. We research, plot, write, edit, and by God write again, even if we ask ourselves, "Who the hell is that character?!?" because By GOD Comics!  We have to find a mental image for the artist to draw, and dialogue that sounds right to the ear.

Because I want to thank each and every Thoughtballooner that's graced this site, for their craft, their dedication, their critiques, constructive feedback, and most importantly, their friendship.

It's funny, we have all been spread around this crazy earth, and the writers here,  I can share the work of a friend with just a click, as if he just passed me his notes from across his desk.

So, thank you, guys. I know this is quite a bit longer than expected. But I want to thank you with all the gratitude in the world for including me in your world.

Take a bow, gents. You deserve it.

Bob's Burgers - Gets TB! - R.A. Wonsowski

• The set-up:  The unthinkable has happened - a McDonald's has opened next door to Bob's Burgers...

Panel 1 - ...BOB (left) stands in front of his storefront, fuming angrily, as SIMON MCDONALD (right) struts to the sidewalk space before his McDonald's, carrying a sandwich board sign.

Panel 2 - BOB starts scrabbling furiously at his slate sandwich board with a piece of chalk.  SIMON's is whiteboard with marker.  He stands pridefully,one hand resting upon the sign that reads: BEN's ROAST'n'ALL sandwich - a 1/2 lb. Roast Beef sandwich on a toasted bun with all the fixin's.

Panel 3 - BOB reveals his blackboard sign: the FRYIN' MAN-TON - 2/3 pound of shredded crispy deep-fried grilled burger topped with fried onions, fried tomatoes, and fried jalepeños, on a french-fried roll.  SIMON, meanwhile, reworks his sign in cartoonish clouds of dust.

Panel 4 - SIMON now stands smugly by his sign which now reads: the GRAND MAC - 3/4 lb. burger patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, on a sesame seed bun (patent pending). BOB, more angry, reworks his sign.

Panel 5 - BOB glowers at SIMON as he reveals his sign: the J.D. - 7/8 lb. burger, marinated in Jack Daniels, topped with Jack-Denby cheese and crispity frizzled onions.  SIMON reworks his sign again.

Panel 6 - SIMON angrily reveals his sign: the BIG MK - 1 pound of all-beef pattie, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, on a sesame seed bun (patent still pending). BOB furiously works again.

Panel 7 - BOB shoots daggers out his eyes as we read his sign: a caricature of Terrance Stamp's ZOD reads: KNEEL, JACK.O.B. - 5 quarter-pound patties topped with pepperjack, onions, and baked beans.  SIMON, near exhaustion, gives his sign one more go.

Panel 8 - SIMON, sweating, shows off his sign: RYAN's KI-LO - One full kilogram of beef, topped with cheddar, avocado, and crunch pork rinds.  BOB, lightbulb over his head, finishes his sign.

Panel 9 - BOB, arms crossed over his chest in victory, stands by his sign: the 1-SOW-SKI! - 1 kilo of chopped sirloin, topped with a pound of bacon, sandwiched between two skids of fried pork chop - comes with a side of Fried Chicken. (For the ladies: toss Shaun's Richest salad!).  SIMON carries off his sign down the sidewalk in defeat as we see his McDonald's is now closed.

Adventure Time - ...gone HOR-ribly WRONG! - R.A. Wonsowski

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Panel 1 - Through their window we see FINN and JAKE happily fist-bump.

FINN & JAKE:  Yeah!!


Panel 2 - The "Adventure Time" title card, with FINN and JAKE holding the banner that reads "with Finn and Jake" with wings on their backs.

CAPTION (with musical notes):  Adventure Time! C'mon, grab your friends...


Panel 3 - FINN riding JAKE through the icy mountains at night, a full moon in the sky.

CAPTION (with musical notes):  We'll go to very distant lands...


Panel 4 - Floating heads of FINN and JAKE against an orange background.

CAPTION (with musical notes):  Jake the Dog, and Finn the Human...


Panel 5 - In a rainbow-laden garden of lollipops, FINN and JAKE are being brutally and savagely attacked by MILK & CHEESE, Dairy Products Gone Bad!  MILK is slashing away at JAKE with a broken whiskey bottle, and CHEESE is blathering FINN with a cast-iron skillet from behind, blood flying everywhere.  In the sky, LADY RAINICORN looks on in horror, weeping.

CAPTION (with musical notes):  ...are killed by Milk and Cheese...

LADY RAINICORN:  공포!


Panel 6 - Atop a mountain of corpses, all characters of adventure time, MILK and CHEESE raise their fists into the stormy sky, the Adventure Time logo written in the same font as any random German heavy metal band.  Among the corpses are FINN, JAKE, MARCELINE, the ICE KING, and the PRINCESS.  In an inset panel to the lower right, DEADPOOL winks at us, giving the thumbs-up.

CAPTION (with musical notes):  It's Adventure Time!

DEADPOOL:  Now DEADPOOL Approved!  Yeah!!


Panel 7 - In a conference room at ThoughtBalloons Headquarters (we know it's their HQ because the blog logo is on the wall), BEN, BRIAN, DAN, GRANT, J.D., MK, NIEL, RYAN, and SHAUN look at RAY, who is wearing a Deadpool mask, bowling shirt, jeans, and POUCHES!, in looks ranging from disapproval, to nausea and disgust, to angry disappointment.  RYAN has a "BLEAGH" look on his face, while MK and J.D. look at each other with worried concern.  GRANT has answered the phone, and cups the mouthpiece while he looks on with a smoldering fury.  RAY-slash-Deadpool has his arms wide, enthusiastically stumping for the new opening credits.  A large screen TV behind him has MILK and CHEESE running and carrying torches.

RAY/DEADPOOL:  ...oh, c'mon! It's like PRINTING money...

BRIAN (to DAN):  It's "Writer's Block Week" again, isn't it?

GRANT:  Ray, Pendleton Ward would like a word with you...