Paranormal Romance – Do Vampires Dream of Undead Sheep: Sparkless Romance - Dr. Ludwig Von Helsinger (As told to MK Stangeland Jr.)

(Way way back when (over 5 years ago now!), before I was officially a member of Thought Balloons, I wrote a play-at-home script for DRACULA week. The script below was spawned as result of that script, an adaptation of part of a stage play that I tried working on for a short time that I haven’t ENTIRELY given up on one day completing yet.)

Panel 1: DRACULA sits at a bus stop somewhere in NEW YORK CITY. He’s wearing a black suit, with a black shirt and black tie, black shoes, and even black sunglasses, which all highly contrast his blood-drained white skin.

Sitting next to him is LUCY, a young woman who’s dressed for some kind of generic but decent if unglamorous job. She is looking in DRACULA’s direction. DRACULA looks back, annoyed and confused.

LUCY (1): Are you a vampire?

LUCY (2): I only ask because you have such white skin.

LUCY (3): Except, with the sunlight out…

Panel 2: DRACULA bares his teeth at LUCY, trying to look menacing. LUCY, however, looks excited.

LUCY (1): I knew it!

LUCY (2): What kind of makeup are you using?!

Panel 3: DRACULA is a mix of confused, annoyed, and disgusted at LUCY’s behavior as LUCY looks she could practically get up and do a little happy dance.

DRACULA (1): Woman, where…

LUCY (1): …does the blood flow strongest through my neck?

LUCY (2): I’ve often wondered that myself, but I think…

DRACULA (2): What kind of…

LUCY (3): Place have I been hiding all your life?

DRACULA (3): Just who do you think…

LUCY (4): You are?

LUCY (4): Why, only the man I’ve…

Panel 4: DRACULA practically explodes at LUCY, having had enough of whatever madness she’s spouting.

DRACULA (1): WOMAN!

DRACULA (2): Would you STOP!

Panel 5: DRACULA looks angrily at LUCY as she recomposes herself.

LUCY: You’re right…

Panel 6: LUCY has laid down on the bench with her head o DRACULA’s lap. Her arm closer to DRACULA loosely grabs around the back of his neck, her other arm hands out loosely. Her neckline has been undone, LUCY having cleared her neck to make it easy for DRACULA to access. The scene might almost be sensual if it weren’t so ridiculous.

DRACULA looks down at LUCY, he has absolutely no idea how to react; he’s beyond even the point of knowing if he should be surprised and confused anymore.

(END PAGE)

Dracula - Waterlogged - Danial Carroll

PAGE ONE (four panels)

PANEL 1. Mid-shot of a highly malnourished Dracula, staring right at us. His hair and clothing are swirling around him weightlessly. He is underwater.

CAPTION:

I won't bore you with how I found myself here?

PANEL 2. Full view of Dracula, revealing that his feet are shackled to a cement block.

CAPTION:

Suffice to say that that I was caught off-guard in a weakened state.

PANEL 3. Close up of Dracula's red eyes. Despite the closeness, you can tell he's smiling.

CAPTION:

None of that matters now...

PANEL 4. From behind Dracula, we can see a large shark swimming up to him.

CAPTION:

For fate has smiled upon me.

Dracula - Chew on This - Matt Duarte

Dracula in “Chew on This” by Matt Duarte

This script takes place in the same universe as the comic Chew. It has 5 panels, divided into three large rows. Panel 2 and 4 are text insets next to the previous panels, which if you have read Chew, you know what they look like.

Panel 1

Description: A man in his thirties is walking in through a door. He is wearing a white coat on top of a rather formal attire (shirt, tie, etc). He is of Turkish origin, and therefore his skin is a bit dark. This is our protagonist, Arikan. In the room he is entering, which is his office, there is a desk and a woman sitting behind it, Mina (his secretary).

ARIKAN: Good morning, Mina.

MINA: Good morning, Doctor. There is already quite a lot for you to do today. The Chief of Police of Ankara called and insisted that you tackle a case seemingly impossible to solve.

ARIKAN: Of course, those buffoons cannot solve anything without my knowledge.

Panel 2

Description: An image of Arikan. He is waving at the reader (as if breaking the fourth wall) with a full red background.

CAPTION: This is Arikan Culah. He is one of the most renowned forensic doctors in all of Turkey despite his young age. In his rather short career, he has solved more cold cases than the rest of the Istanbul police force put together, building quite a reputation for himself. What most people don’t know is that Arikan is a cibopath.

Panel 3

Description: Arikan has now passed past the desk and is entering his private office. He is talking with Mina as he does so.

ARIKAN: Tell them that good things come to those who wait, Mina. Did he send the tissue samples like I requested? You know I absolutely need it to work my magic.

MINA: Yes, Doctor. They are on your desk.

ARIKAN: Great! Then this case is as good as solved...

Panel 4

Description: Just text on a red background.

CAPTION: Becasue he is a cibopath, Arikan can taste a victim’s drop of blood, and get a flash of the their last moments. He won’t admit it to anyone else, but he rather likes the taste of fresh blood. Both of these facts are probably a genetic inheritance from his great-great-great-great grandfather: Vladimir The Third, Prince of Wallachia, also known as Vlad The Impaler, and also known as...

Panel 5

Description: Mina sits by the desk with a rather sarcastic face. Arikan has closed the door to his personal office. It has a glass window (we can see his silhouette behind it) where there is something inscribed. It reads “Dr. A. Culah”.

ARIKAN (from inside): But I won't tell him so until next week. Hahaha!

MINA (whisper): Pompous jerk. One day I’ll get another job and that will be the last you see of me.

The End?

Dracula - Demise - Sime McDonald

Panel One
We're looking at blood pooled on a polished floor.

DRACULA

(off panel)

The air reeks of blood and death.

Panel Two

The blood belongs to Grant Powell's (new character, no reference) wife. He is clasping her limp body in his arms, his cheeks wet with tears. Standing over them is Dracula. He's not standing with purposeful menace; he just possesses a natural aura of it. His arms are folded behind his back; his mouth is a hard line. Rather stoic.

DRACULA

I love it.

Panel Three

Dracula's expressionless face creases slightly.

DRACULA

Not by choice.

Panel Four

He bends his knees, his face now level with Powell's.

DRACULA

Can you comprehend that?

To live for something so vile?

POWELL

I'm going to kill you.

Panel Five

Dracula smiles.

DRACULA (1)

I know.

DRACULA (2)

The Oracle foretold my demise, Grant Powell. 

Panel Six

Dracula is standing, holding out his hand for Powell to take.

DRACULA

I've come to you to ensure it happens.

Continued...

Dracula – Infinity People – Ryan K Lindsay

1. The first three panels form the top half of the page, they should probably have a different ink and colour vibe as they are a flashback. Dracula is strapped into a chair with silver chains and plaits of werewolf hair in a dirty old cabin. Off panel stands a nameless, for now, doctor. He'd be revealed later in the story, not on this page.

Doctor (op): Elders in my village called you the ‘infinity people’.

2. A hand grabs an instrument off a tray that still has a few blood spatters on it.

Doctor (op): So, I shall see just how far you stretch.

3. Shadow on the wall is created by a lightning strike. The shadow shows us a doctor plunging some strange and unknown instrument into Dracula’s chest.

Doctor: And I will take what I need to even the battleground.

4. We cut to the present - Dracula stands atop the Helicarrier. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are assembled around him, no one you know.

Dracula: You really think you can stand in my way?
Dracula: To stand here I have, amongst over three hundred specific murders for this case, strangled an old lady with her dog’s lead. While the dog was attached. Drowned twin boys in pools of crude oil. Torn a screaming girl in half. Down the middle. And from the smell of one of you, I killed your mother two nights ago.

5. Dracula smiles.

Dracula: Tell your boss I want him out here right now. Guess you could say I’m calling him out.
Dracula: Him and anyone else living on time borrowed from me.

For those wondering...you should probably check this link.

Dracula - Lamentation and Reform - Max Barnard

1.1
We open on a classic, Gene Colan-esque Dracula (though not neccesarily the Marvel one) out on the balcony of his transylvanian castle, illuminated by lightning and the moon against his form. He is looking sternly out at the horizon, leaning forward as if he wants to see that little bit further.

Dracula: I am but an avatar of evil and darkness, in a landscape of gloom and misery.


1.2
A close-up on Dracula's eyes, squinting tightly.

Dracula: This, like the ages of the earth, must change.


1.3
A silhouetted arm pulling on a glove, against a blood red background.


1.4
A silhouetted leg pulling on a boot, against a blood red background.


1.5
Dracula's silhouetted head, pulling on an indistinct mask (to maintain the mystery of his new identity).


1.6
Dracula, still silhouetted (though more distinctly as the Dell Dracula, for whom I can provide picture reference as needed) is walking out the front of his castle, as a large strike of lightning lights up the entire area.

SFX: KRAKAKA-KOOOM!!

Dracula: And so I shall become something else. Something NEW, entirely different to what is expected! To what would make sense! I will become...


1.7
And we see Dracula in his full splendour as the Dell Dracula of years long past, arms on his hips and standing tall, in typical superhero fashion. Where this costume crucially differs from the Dell version, however, is that it is ill-fitting and slightly loose, combining with Dracula's manic expression to give the impression of a truly deluded fool. That's doable right? If not just beat me with a stick.

Dracula: DELL DRACULA!

Dracula - Not a Team Up - Ben Rosenthal

So I totally continued the script I have had going for the past two weeks - only this isnt it. To see it, head over to Post Humour Comedy and read it there. You're stuck with this one. Will be interesting to see which you prefer. Yes you!



1. Night. We are looking up at Deadpool, who has a gun barrel pointed at the panel. The gun is made of wood. Deadpool looks mighty angry.

DEADPOOL
Normally I would say something witty, like “hang in there” but you’ve just #$@*d me off too much for such niceties.

2. We are now looking down. It is clear that we are on top of a very tall building in Manhattan. Clinging to the side of the building in Dracula, in his classic Christopher Lee-esque costume. He is straining to hold himself up. His chin is resting on the roof, with his body dangling over the side. He will not be able to hold on for much longer.

DRACULA
Please...Wilson...

DRACULA
Remember if I die, so does your father.

3. Same as Panel 1, however Deadpool’s anger has turned to shock and surprise

DEADPOOL
You’re my father?

4. Same as Panel 2, with Dracula looking confused at Wade’s ridiculous assumption.

DRACULA
Uh....yes......

5. Same framing as Panel 3 (looking up at Deadpool from below), however Deadpool has lowered his wooden gun.

DEADPOOL
Then who was my mother?

6. Same as Panel 4, with Dracula sweating (can vampires sweat?) as he frantically tries to save his unlife.

DRACULA
Urm...Estelle Getty?

7. A wide panel showing the entirety of the roof top, New York in the background. Wade is facing us, his wooded gun scratching the side of his head. In the background, Dracula’s word balloon comes from the side of the building as he has finally slipped, and is plunging to his doom.

DEADPOOL
My parents were Estelle Getty and Dracula! Who the hell approved this retcon?

DRACULA (words falling from the side as he falls)
WILSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.

Dracula - Safe As Houses - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

A beautiful young woman (Rebecca) in a white nightgown is running through a dark forest in terror, pursued by some unseen horror. It’s night, though bright moonlight flickers through the trees. There’s a low mist on the ground. Her gown has snagged on branches and foliage and is torn and dirtied.

Panel Two.

Breathless, she arrives at a spooky old house, all strange angles and dark windows. Without hesitation she runs up the path towards the front door.

Panel Three.

She bursts through the front door and into the house.

Panel Four.

She slams the door behind her, gasping for air, the relief showing on her face. At last she is safe.

Rebecca: Ha! I… I did it. Escaped. Got… home.

Panel Five.

Rebecca peers out through the peephole in the front door. Behind her, a wisp of red mist curls in the hallway.

Rebecca: I’m safe now. You can’t... can't enter without… I know the rules.

Rebecca: You have to be invited… and I’ll never… I’ll never invite you into my home!

Panel Six.

Rebecca turns in horror as the red mist behind her takes form. It is Dracula. Classic Gene Colan look.

Dracula: Foolish child.

Dracula: Over five hundred years has Dracula walked this earth. Many are the homes which have welcomed him already.

Panel Seven.

Close on Dracula, smiling, baring his teeth. Christopher. Lee.

Dracula: You are not the first to claim ownership over this particular domicile. You will certainly not be the last.

Why Dracula?

He is the lord of the undead.

The king of the vampires.

The count with the curse. (I made that one up to satisfy the rule of three. Sue me.)

He needs no introduction.

The only question is... which Drac will you choose?

Will it be the classic Wolfman / Colan Tomb Of Dracula character...

The sartorially-challenged Drac recently murdered and resurrected in Victor Gischler's X-Men...

The DC Dracula...

Vampirella's Great Uncle Vlad...

The less-than-inspiring Buffy Dracula...

Dell's short-lived Count Superhero...

The pain in Ash's neck...

IDW's "Osama Bin Laden" of vampires...

Or something else entirely?

The choice is yours... as long as there's no Twilight.

Seriously.

Have fun... and if you can't have fun, drink blood. Lots of blood.