Sudden Change of Outlook (a tale of Redemption Road) - Ray Wonsowski

Setup: if you're a long-timer at Thoughtballoons, you might remember that one of my earliest ideas was of a reformed Electro, (Max Dillon) raising a baby daughter and working as a supervillain skiptracer. You can find previous entries here, here, and here...This night, while trying to round up his next bounty, he stumbles upon a shipping container owned by Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin...

Layout:
1111
2233
4555
4666

Panel 1- doors are swung wide on the shipping container, we are looking inside. There are about a dozen or so boys and girls between the ages of 7 and 11, dressed in Sunday clothehandss. The children and their clothes are a bit smudged with grime, but not too much, after all, this is Fisk's "merchandise" being exported. They are all, however, terrified, some crying,  others defiantly angry, but all scared. In the background is a stained bucket they've been using as a toilet. 

NO COPY.

Panel 2- Medium two-shot. Foreground, MAX, dressed in a leather jacket and a green turtleneck, his face reading shock at the sight. Background,  FISK behind him, ever the poised businessman,  hands in his pockets.

FISK: Really, Max, this shouldn't be surprising. 

FISK: Considering all the enterprises under my purview...

Panel 3- same as panel 2, but MAX is failing to hold back his rage,  tears starting to well in his eyes.

MAX: They're kids, Wilson. 

FISK: They're a commodity. One cannot afford to be thinking of them as children. 

Panel 4- close-up, MAX's sparking fist.

MAX: Actually, I'm thinking of my daughter, you sonuvabitch...

Panel 5- MAX turns, furiously unloading a full charge into FISK's face.

MAX: She saved ME!!!

Panel 6- Close-up two-shot, MAX, teeth bared, holding FISK's barely conscious head in his sparking hands, his face smoldering from the burns, skin already blistering.

FISK: ...wub...

MAX: And now I'm returning the favor....

Electro - Electric Eye - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: Nick Fury is on the phone, watching a wall of viewing panels. He's confident, relaxed.

Spider-Man(from phone): UH, I CAN'T SEEM TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THE REST OF THE AVENGERS, AND I'VE GOT A FEELING THE SINISTER SIX ARE-

Nick: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

Panel 2: Spider-Man is on the phone in his apartment, having just gotten back from a night of patrolling. There are bags under his eyes.

Spider-Man: DON'T WORRY? I'M SERIOUS, THEY'RE PLANNING SOMETHING.

Nick(from phone): AND LIKE I SAID, DON'T WORRY. WE'VE GOT IT COVERED.

Panel 3: Close-up on an eye behind a yellow mask, clearly robotic with a small SHIELD emblem just small enough not to be seen near the bottom of the eye socket.

CAPTION(Fury): MAX DILLON HAD A LITTLE ACCIDENT ABOUT A WEEK OR 2 AGO. NASTY STUFF, THOUGH IF HE WASN'T AS LUCKY HE MIGHT HAVE DIED.

CAPTION(Fury): BUT STILL, THE SURGERIES, TRANSPLANTS, AND SUCH RAN TOO RICH FOR HIS BLOOD.

Panel 4: Zoom out to Electro planning with the rest of the Sinister Six.

CAPTION(Fury): AND S.H.I.E.L.D.'S HEALTH PLAN TURNED OUT TO BE JUST THE RIGHT ASKING PRICE TO GET US AN... ELECTRIC SPY, IF YOU WILL.

Electro - The Spark - J.D. Coughlan

SET-UP: Max Dillon has just escaped from prison again. To make a bit of cash, he has decided to rob a diner.

Panel 1: All of the diner patrons crouched on the floor. Dillon stands over them, in his Electro suit, his hand outstretched to them and sparking. He addresses the manager behind the counter, who gets money from the till. A female customer, Jenny, looks up at him with recognition.

DILLON: C'mon! C'mon!

JENNY: Max?

Panel 2: Dillon looks down at her, surprised. Jenny smiles nervously

DILLON: Jenny?!

JENNY: I mean, I know you were Electro, obviously, I just didn't expect--

Panel 3: Dillon now looms more menacingly over Jenny, both his hands sparking violently. Jenny winces and the rest of the crowd are terrified.

DILLON: To see me again!? After you stabbed me in the back and ditched me!?

JENNY: M-Max, I'm sorry. It... It was just a job.

Panel 4: Over Jenny's head. Dillon looming over her, angry and sparking. Jenny shields her face with her arms.

DILLON: I loved you, Jenny! And you used that against me!

DILLON: So give me one good goddamn reason why I shouldn't fry you right here, right now!

Panel 5: Close on Jenny, cowering in fear.

JENNY: Be-because you still love me.

Panel 6: Dillon standing upright again, no electrical energy coming off him. His face says it all: She's right and he hates that it's true.

NO TEXT

END OF PAGE

Electro – Juliet and John – Shaun Richens.

PAGE SIX – 5 PANELS.

Layout

111

223

444

555

1. INT. Secret Underground Base of shieldwatch. The base is located beneath New York City.

HAMMER stands to the left of panel JOHN to the right. They are both looking through one-way glass into a plain white interrogation room. A steel table sits in the centre of the room. JULIET sits handcuffed to a steel chair on the right of the table; DEAD OF NIGHT sits opposite her. A thick steel door is situated behind DEAD OF NIGHT. It is currently closed.

         HAMMER 1:

This is her. She crashed in some kind of escape pod in the Hudson. This thing has got tech onboard we’ve never seen before.

(Link)

HAMMER 2:

The pods down in the labs, we are still running tests on it.

JOHN:

What’s any of this got to do with me?

2. Close up on HAMMER.

         HAMMER 1:

Shieldwatch satellites picked up an anomaly just outside of Earth orbit before she crashed.

(Link)

HAMMER 2:

The portal she came through, it’s magical in origin. That’s why you’re here Strange. We need to know what she has to do with it. We need to know why she is here.

3. Close up on JOHN

         JOHN:

         So what is Trent doing in there with her?

4. Cut to INT interrogation room. DEAD OF NIGHT sits on his side of the table to the left of panel, JULIET on the right.

         CAPTION HAMMER:

Like his methods or not, Dead of Night knows how to get answers out of people.

DEAD OF NIGHT

So you don’t wanna talk to me. That’s ok. I mean I can talk enough for two.

(Link)

DEAD OF NIGHT 2:

I know your type; you’re all quiet and mysterious.

(Link)

DEAD OF NIGHT 3:

But answer one thing for me at least. Watt would it take to get you to talk to me?

5. The door behind DEAD OF NIGHT has opened; standing in the doorway is LADY LIGHTNING (An amalgamation of Electro and Livewire) she wears her blonde hair in a tall Mohawk, the sides totally shaved, she wears a SHIELDWATCH uniform but the arms are cut off at the shoulders and bolts of electrical energy leap up and down her arms. Both LADY LIGHTNING and DEAD OF NIGHT are looking straight at JULIET and the reader smiling.

         DEAD OF NIGHT:

         How about some shocking questions?

Electro – Age of Electro – MK Stangeland Jr.

(ELECTRO has used his powers to take control of an ULTRON unit, and is using it to try to take revenge on SPIDER-MAN, whose body is currently being occupied by DR. OCTOPUS. Or, as I prefer to refer to the combination, “SPOCK” – as in short for ‘Spider-Ock’)

(5 Panels)

Panel 1: ELECTRO is flying after ‘SPOCK’ in a bad part of town, trying to shoot him.

‘SPOCK’: Stop shooting at me!

ELECTRO: I’m thinking it’s a ‘no’ on that!

Panel 2: ‘SPOCK’ takes cover behind a wall.

ELECTRO: Just make this easy and let me kill you already! You can’t hurt me, and all I have to do is shoot you once!

‘SPOCK’: (Thought balloon) We’ll see about that.

Panel 3: ‘SPOCK’ leaps out from behind the wall. Both arms are out and shooting web blobs in the direction of ELECTRO (off-panel)

‘SPOCK’: You small-minded cretin.

SFX: thip thip thip thip

Panel 4: ELECTRO tries to block the web blobs as they fly at him.

SFX: wak wak wak wak

‘SPOCK’: This is the best you can come up with?

‘SPOCK’ (2): You hijack one of the most advanced robots in the world, if not the galaxy,

Panel 5: A web blob gets trough and hits ELECTRO in the face.

‘SPOCK’: (Off Panel) And the best idea you can come up with is “I’m going to go get revenge on Spider-Man!”?!

END PAGE

Electro - Green & Yellow -Dan Hill

I had a hard time with this one. It was hard to find an 'in' with this character. So I went with THAT costume and why on earth someone would choose to wear it.

PAGE TWENTY TWO

22.1
Wide panel: we open on a shot of ELECTRO's COSTUME laid out on a wooden table.

1 ZELINSKY(OFF): I followed your requirements to the letter, Mr Dillon.

2 ZELINSKY(OFF): Even the colours.

22.2
Cut to LEO ZELINSKY, cleaning his glasses with a cloth. He wears a woolen jumper and khakis.

We're in a back room of Zelinsky's shop, boxes of material piled up in the corners, shelves of supplies etc. 

The centre of the room is dominated by the wooden table.
3 ZELINSKY: Which are, ah, most unorthodox.

4 ZELINSKY: Green and yellow?

22.3
Cut to MAX DILLON, out of costume. He stands over the table with his arms folded. He’s smiling to himself.

5 DILLON: It’s perfect. Your reputation is justified, Mr Zelinsky.

22.4
Back on Leo, his glasses back on. He smiles, relieved his client is happy.

6 ZELINSKY: It’s a bold design. Unique.

22.5
On Dillon. He has picked up the costume from the table, looking at it intently.

7 DILLON: That’s the point.

22.6
From Dillon’s POV looking down towards the costume.

8 DILLON: I want them to see me coming.

Electro - Chekhov's Pun - Grant McLaughlin

No particular moment in continuity in mind (except pre-Superior Spider-Man, I guess).

Three rows of panels.  Row one is made up of panels 1 through 3, row two of panels 4 through 6, and row three of panels 7 and 8.

1 - Peter Parker is in his house / apartment (depending on what point in Pete's life you're going with).  Peter is bending over as he puts on his Spider-Man pants.  He looks down at a book that is face-up and open on his bed.

PETER PARKER (1): Alright, off the top of my head: shock... sparks... live wire... charged... power...

PETER PARKER (2): All classics, but maybe a little too easy.  What do I have in here?

2 - Pete walks through his apartment.  He's putting on his Spider-Man top, one arm through a sleeve and the other still holding that book.

PETER PARKER: "Pull the plug."  That would be a good one to end with.

3 - The top on, Pete awkwardly tries to put on a Spidey-boot one handed, the book still in his other hand.

PETER PARKER: "On a power trip."  That will definitely come up.

4 - Pete is using his teeth to put on a Spidey-glove (his other hand still obviously holding the book).  He looks at the page, and despite the glove in his mouth, smiles at what he sees.

PETER PARKER: "How do you stay current?"  Ooo, I bet he'll hate that one.

5 - Pete places a finger on the book's page and looks surprised and excited by what he's found.

PETER PARKER: I should be able to work these in.  Oh, what's this?

6 - Pete reads out a line, but look unsure as to its efficacy.

PETER PARKER (1): "...a flummoxed capacitor... not hard for you to hit 1.21 giga-whats."

PETER PARKER (2): Hmm.  Is that too much?  Maybe it's too much.

7 - Pete puts the book down on a side table.

PETER PARKER: Either way, I think I should have enough.

8 - This panel focuses on the side table that Peter just put the book down on.  The book is on top of a newspaper.  The book has "Pun Journal" handwritten on its cover.  The newspaper it rests on is a copy of the Daily Bugle.  There's a picture of Electro, along with a headline that reads "Electro at Large!" (and a sub-title that reads "Spider-Man Involved?").  In the background, Pete heads to leave via the window, pulling on his mask.

PETER PARKER: Worse comes to worst, I can always bust out some Breakin' 2 references.

Electro - His Hands - Ben Rosenthal

1.  The view of Earth from space.

CAPTION (singing)

“He’s got the rivers and the mountains in His hands,”

2.  A closer look at the Earth – something isn't right.  The Earth’s electro-magnetic field is not curved as it usually is (REF: /card/images/left/earth-magfield.webp ), but rippled as if being manipulated by something.

CAPTION (singing)

“He’s got the oceans and the seas in His hands,”

3.  Closer yet again and we see what is causing the magnetic fields to be disturbed.  Electro is floating in the stratosphere, arms outstretched and using his heightened electric based powers to disturb the Earth’s magnetic field.

CAPTION (singing)

“He’s got you and me in His hands,”

4.  A close up of Electro’s scarred face.  He wears an evil smirk, thinking about the damage he can accomplish now that the entire planet’s electromagnetic field is under his control.

CAPTION (singing)

” I've got the whole world in My hands.”

Electro - Redemption Road: Run - R.A. Wonsowski

(A continuation of my saga of Max "Electro" Dillon, super-villain skip-tracer.)

Previously:  MAX gets out of prison to find that he has a baby girl.  After falling back on desperate measures with a heist gone bad, Hawkeye convinces him to go straight.  Thanks to the advice of the Taskmaster (http://www.thought-balloons.com/2012/09/taskmaster-redemption-road-revisited.html), MAX has built himself a decent niche business bountying metahuman criminals who flee the justice system.  However, after "turning in" the alien warrior-woman Stellaris, he returns home to see her old partner in the cosmic Graces, the space pirate NEBULA, abducting MAX's baby daughter, TESS.  Her ultimatum: free Stellaris or the baby dies.  MAX, still impulsive as ever, instead chooses to pursue NEBULA, which leads to a frantic chase across New York City, to where her ship lies waiting in Battery Park.  MAX makes one last attempt to rescue his little girl...

Layout:
1122
1122
3455
3555

Panel 1 - P.O.V. inside NEBULA's ship.  She stands foreground, back to us, looking out the closing hatch, as TESS screams as she's held in the crook of her arm.  Through the hatch, we see MAX breaking through the treeline, his fists and eyes crackling with electricity, accentuating his facial scars.  His head shaved, he wears a green bowling shirt with wide yellow lightning-shaped stripes down the front, jeans, and Doc Martens.

CAPTION (MAX):  ...no.

MAX:  TESS!!!

CAPTION (MAX):  No, no, no.


Panel 2 - P.O.V. from behind MAX.  He's throwing a tremendous amount of lightning at the ship as it lifts off from the ground.  But the ship shrugs it off, and from the look on MAX's face, it might even be feeding back on him.

CAPTION (MAX):  I hate myself sick.  I shoulda called somebody.  Anybody.

CAPTION (MAX):  I have Hawkeye's pager, for Chrissakes.  I coulda brought the #u$&in' Avengers down on her head.


Panel 3 - Suddenly, a bright light is shined right in MAX's face.  The whole panel is bathed in bright light as MAX shields his sparking eyes.

CAPTION (MAX):  Tess is gonna die or worse because I'm either too stupid or stubborn to ask for help.


Panel 4 - (inset)  MAX, still shielding his eyes, looking shocked.

(off-panel):  So...


Panel 5 - Foreground, we see MAX, his back to us, crouching down and his fists are sparking with electrity again, but holding back.  He is looking at the towering figure of DEATH'S HEAD (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death's_Head), hanging from the hatch of his hovering snubfighter, one hand on the flight controls, the other extended as if in friendship.

DEATH'S HEAD:  ...one "freelance peacekeeper" to another...

DEATH'S HEAD:  ...you could use some assistance, yes?

CAPTION (MAX):  Well, this is different...

Why Electro?

C'mere...I'll tell you why...

I always had a soft spot for this goofball.  I remember watching the old Spider-Man cartoons, and there goes this cackling figure skiing on power lines, and thinking that was pretty boss.

But then you get a little older, and you think:  Wow, what a crappy costume.  Jeez, that mask is ridiculous.  Most of Spidey's other villians, they were mostly scientists or richer than Croesus.  Max Dillon worked for ConEd.  He was blue collar.  His crimes were mostly robberies, no great schemes of revenge or murder.  Of all the Sinister Six, he was the one that had no real place there.

Even his rep screamed loser.  He was defeated by Daredevil, Yellowjacket, the Falcon, and Power Pack.  His weakness is water, and he falls for it harder than Mxyzptlk says his name backwards.

But then I remember...he once was approached by Magneto to be an ally.  The Sinister Six keep inviting him back.  He is a walking dynamo of incredible power.  Heck, the Skrulls hired him to instigate a prison riot and breakout.  Remember Nate Grey, X-Man?  No?  That's because Electro short circuited his brain.

And then came "The Gauntlet".

When his powers started going out of control, he became scarred by them.  Despite his electrical power, he had no personal power.  Finally realizing this, he became a spokesman for the 99% in the wake of the financial crisis and crippled the New York Stock exchange.  This actually goes back to his original background, when he was stealing from Tony Stark to boost his own power.

He is also strangely loyal to a small circle.  Adrian Toomes, the Vulture, is his best friend.  When he has a girlfriend (yes, it's been shown a few times) he is attentive and charming (though, a little crass).  He's loyal to Doctor Octopus because he always has a helpful science tip on how to use his powers more creatively.

So, the soft spot has returned.  I still think the goofball is pretty cool.  So does the Spidey-Movie people; they just signed Jamie "Django Unchained" Foxx to play him in the sequel to "The Amazing Spider-Man".

So, let's see what you, and the goofball, have got.  Thrill me.  Surprise me.

Shock me.

Taskmaster - Redemption Road Revisited - Ray Wonsowski

Ok, I have to apologize here, since this is an odd continuation - I humbly ask for your indulgence....

Way back in March, when I was sending tryout scripts during the Avengers months, I sent this one for Hawkeye.  It's an idea that I've been bopping about for almost 2 years now, that I've called Redemption Road (skip ahead if you read it already or just want to get to the Taskmaster part...):

The Premise: Electro finds out he has a daughter, and when he gets out of prison, he really tries to go straight after his baby girl's mom dies. Desperate, he goes back to his old ways and gets caught by Spider-Man and Hawkeye during an armoured car heist. Hawkeye secures him, and instead of calling the authorities, offers to make Electro an Avenger.  Spidey and Hawkeye are now standing on a roof for some privacy. Electro is bound and sitting.

Panel 1:
SPIDEY (incredulous): What?!?
HAWKEYE: I'm serious, Max. Position's yours if you want it. We could always use someone with your firepower...

Panel 2:
SPIDEY (pleading with Hawkeye): Dude! Do you know how many rounds I've gone with this jamoke?!? He's a career criminal!
HAWKEYE: So was I.

Panel 3: Hawkeye squatting down on his toes, so that he's eye to eye with Electro.
HAWKEYE: I was a two-bit thief with a third rate gimmick who thought he could go toe-to-toe with Iron Man. I was an idiot.
HAWKEYE: And then one day, when him and Thor and Ant-or-Giant-Man all cut and run, Captain America came to me and asked me to save the world.
HAWKEYE: Me, and Magneto's kids.

Panel 4: Electro's face - he looks torn.
HAWKEYE: You think about that for a sec. The trust, the faith that took. To look at an Olympic-sized failure and two budding terrorists, and ask them to be better.
HAWKEYE: You think of the fecal matter I had to swallow from the press, from old punk buddies, from my probation officer, until I had proved myself not just as a hero, but an Avenger. Big Time.
HAWKEYE: Think about your daughter. Do you want to see her taken by Social Services, visiting you from the other side of a plexiglass window? Or do you want to be a real father?

Panel 5: Hawkeye leans in on Electro closer. Electro is beginning to break.
HAWKEYE: You remember when you realized your mom didn't want you, when she left you, first from the heart, then the room. I went through that same thing. Your baby's an innocent. It's your responsibility to protect her.

Panel 6: Hawkeye from Electro's POV, towering over him.
HAWKEYE: That's what we do. We protect the innocent. If we can't, we avenge them.
HAWKEYE: I believe in you, Max. Like Cap believed in me.
HAWKEYE: Except I don't want you to prove you're a hero. I want you to prove to me you're a man.

So, here we are an issue later. Electro (Max Dillon) has turned down the Avengers gig (for now), and has decided to be a metahuman "skip tracer": when a supervillain goes fugitive and misses their court date, Dillon goes after them, bounty-hunting. Picture a cross between Dog and deNiro in "Midnight Run". After his first trace goes really, REALLY wrong, he goes to get professional help from Hawkeye, who sends him...THE TASKMASTER.



Panel 1: TASKMASTER and MAX (Electro) sitting in Max's apartment. It's run-down and humble, with the Clinton (Hell's Kitchen) skyline in the window. They are sitting at a folding card table in plastic patio chairs. The floor is matte black. Between them are two chipped mugs of coffee, a pile of restaurant sugar and creamer packets, a dishtowel, and a jar of Nescafe instant coffee. A pot of boiled water sits steaming on a hotplate. There is also a folding playpen set up behind MAX. TASKMASTER is in full costume. MAX is barefoot, in blue jeans, and wearing a dark green bowling shirt with two wide yellow stripes down the front (reminiscent of his old costume). His head is shaved, and has the scars on his face that he got in "the Gauntlet" storyline:

He also has his baby daughter, TESS, cradled in his left arm, feeding her a bottle of formula with his right.  His body language should be self-conscious and uncomfortable, but more assured in what he's doing with his baby.  The baby's hands should touch Max's hands, not the bottle.
TASKMASTER has a manila file of photographs in front of him, with a USB stick drive on top of it.  He is resting his coffee cup on the table, gesturing to the file and drive.

TASKMASTER:  ...so after talking with Barton and your attorney, Mr. Murdock, I went over your material.  You are quite possibly, Max, potentially as powerful as Magneto.  You pack a tremendous amount of power...

MAX:  Thanks.

Panel 2 - Same as Panel 1, except TASKMASTER leans back on the chair's back legs, pointing a gloved hand at MAX.

TASKMASTER:  You're also absolute crap in a fight.  Spider-Man has, more often than not, knocked you out in one punch.  You've got a glass jaw.

TASKMASTER:  Daredevil has also put you down quick.  In groups like the Sinister Six, you're likely the first to be getting the ten-count.

Panel 3 - Same as above, but MAX is looking down at TESS, who is pushing the bottle out of her mouth.  MAX is trying not to look ashamed.

TASKMASTER:  PowerPack beat you up once.  And your weakness is water.

TASKMASTER:  Water, Mr. Dillon.

Panel 4 - Same as above, but MAX is putting the baby bottle on the table as TASKMASTER passes him the dishtowel, his skull mask looks like it's smiling good-naturedly.

MAX:  ...er, yeah, well...

TASKMASTER:  Oh, no, no - please!  Believe me, I've trained worse.  You should see some of the lulus Hydra sends me.

TASKMASTER:  All things being equal, I think we can...

Panel 5 - Same as above, but MAX is putting the towel over his left shoulder while propping TESS up a little bit.  TASKMASTER is putting the stick drive in one of his pouches, while he opens the file.

MAX:  What are you thinking, fighting styles?  Kung-fu?  Boxing?

TASKMASTER:  Actually, I'm thinking the opposite.  I'm gonna teach you to fight dirty.

TASKMASTER:  I'm talking schoolyard dirty.  Eye-poking, ear-clapping, kick'em-in-the-yarbles dirty.  Three Stooges on a bender dirty.

Panel 6 - Same as above, but MAX is patting TESS's back, trying to burp her.  TASKMASTER's arms are wide in a gesture of explanation, as he leans further back on the rear chair legs.

MAX:  I dunno, man.  I mean my rep is low enough, do I wanna add "girly-slap" to my resumé?

TASKMASTER:  Look, you got a dangerous felon to bounty out.  That's not a criminal to you, or a wanted man.  That's your paycheck on its feet.  College tuition on two legs.

TASKMASTER:  Don't worry about trying to look all John Woo.  You need fast takedown, and stay-down, so you can get power-dampeners and cuffs on.  Before he finds a garden hose.

Panel 7 - Same as above, but...TESS burps, causing her to discharge a fair amount of electricity around her.  A lot of it feeds into MAX, who looks completely unfazed, but some knocks TASKMASTER off his chair, and his hood off his head.

TESS:  *bra-a-ap*

SFX:  KZZA-AKK!

Panel 8 - TASKMASTER is on the floor, eyes wide, his chair is skidded into the corner, and he is looking at, and running his hand over, the floor.  MAX is smiling/smirking crookedly at TESS as he cleans her mouth with the towel.  She is giggling.

MAX:  (to TESS) ...and that's why we don't go to children's birthday parties.

TASKMASTER:  I was wondering about the rubber flooring.

MAX:  (to TESS)  Papa's little joy-buzzer...

TESS:  *grggl*

...to be continued...