Wrestlemania - In-con-CEE-vable! - R.A. Wonsowski

Panel 1 - Foreground, in the squared circle, at WrestleMania VII, MICHAEL "Let's Get Ready To Rumble" BUFFER holds aloft the arm of ANDRE THE GIANT in victory.  In the background (maybe out of focus) is the crowd cheering and flashbulbs popping.  Two faces next to each other have their mouths in "O" shapes.

CAPTION:  In March of 1991, Andre the Giant, coming to the aid of Big Boss Man, made his final WWF appearance at WrestleMania VII.


Panel 2 - ANDRE walking away from us down the cement hallway to his locker room.  In the foreground are two silhouettes, one tall and thin, one short and stocky, following the Giant.

CAPTION:  Some say he went on to wrestle in Japan.  Some say he died of heart failure in his home country of France.


Panel 3 - ANDRE, sitting on a bench facing away from us in his unitard, his head hung low.  He is tired.

OFF-PANEL:  My friend...


Panel 4 - ANDRE (foreground) turns away from us, and sees standing before him in the locker room a tall, long-haired and moustachioed Spaniard and a balding, stocky Sicilian in mid-bow.

MONTOYA:  My name is Inigo Montoya.  This is my partner, Vezzini...

VEZZINI:  I am aSTOUNded and honoured to meet you, sir!

MONTOYA:  We have come from very far, and journeyed here to meet with you.


Panel 5 - Two-shot:  VEZZINI shaking ANDRE's hand.  Even though VEZZINI is standing and ANDRE is sitting, they are smiling at each other eye-to-eye.

VEZZINI:  We would like to make you a most lucrative business proposal....

CAPTION:  Some say that we lost Andre "the Giant" Roussimoff in January of 1993...

VEZZINI:  ...and be a partner in our tiTANic trio.


Panel 6 - From behind, we see MONTOYA, ANDRE, and VEZZINI walk into a magical portal to the land of Florin.

MONTOYA:  (smiling) Wait until Miracle Max gets a load of this one...

VEZZINI:  (smiling, gesturing at ANDRE) Are you KIDDING?!?  He's the Eighth Wonder of the WORLD!!!  INCONCEIVABLE!!!

MONTOYA:  You keep using that word.  I do not think it means...

CAPTION:  ...but I know, in my heart of hearts, he ended up in a better place.

Thank you, Fezzik.

Wrestlemania - Pugiliarchy - J.D. Coughlan

Panel 1: Wide shot of the U.S. Senate chambers, except there is a space in the middle with a wrestling ring in it. The crowd also holds up banners (not facing the reader here, but feel free to fill them in as you see fit in the background of other panels). A referee stands in the centre of the ring with a microphone, gesturing to the left. The President, a large bald man in conventional wrestling garb (including an impressive cape and gold belt with the Presidential Seal on it), enters from the left, holding up his hands in triumph as the crowd goes wild.

REFEREE: Ladieeees and gentlemeeeeeen! I present to you our long standing CHAMP-I-ONNNNN! Our Commander-in-Chief-of-Pain! The Head Honcho of State! The Awesome American himself: PRESIDENT WRECKING BALL BOLTON!

SFX (CROWD): YEAH! WOO! BOLTON!

Panel 2: Same, but Wrecking Ball Bolton stands with his arms folded in his corner, and the Ref gestures now to the right. The rival Senator, a gruffer-looking wrestler (no cape or belt), enters from the right, sneering at the crowd.

REFEREE: And his challenger, the contend-AH from Montan-AH -- SENATOR RED HOT IRONS!

SFX (CROWD): BOO! SSSSS! GO HOME!

Panel 3: Close on Red Hot Irons as he grabs the mic out the Ref's hand and shouts angrily into it.

IRONS: I'm here to tell you, Mr. President, that your healthcare policy needs someone to lay the smackdown on it! And you've made our military as weak as your girly little arms! You're old news, Pres, and I'm here to impeach you a lesson!

SFX (CROWD): OOOOOOOOH!

Panel 4: Close on Wrecking Ball Bolton as he calmly offers his rebuttal.

BOLTON: I put it to my honourable rival that while I find his accusatory opinions respectable, I must disagree with them, as the good Senator is, in fact, dumber than a sack of hairy rocks!

SFX (CROWD): WOOOO! HELL YEAH! CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP

Panel 5: Another wide shot of the ring, Irons and Bolton glare at each other. The Ref stands in the middle, gesturing madly again.

REFEREE: This can only mean one thing, ladies and gentlemen...

REFEREE: (large) ELECTION OR EJECTION!

REFEREE: Lllllllleeeeeeeeets get readdddyyyyy tooooooo rrrrrrrrrrrrrrummmmmmblllllllllllllllle!!!!

END OF PAGE

Wrestlemania – Dig Down Deep. - Shaun Richens.

PAGE ONE – 4 PANELS.

1. A referee in a black and white striped top is on his hands and knees in the middle of the ring. His arm raised high ready to slam down to start the pin count.  

We can see rows and rows of fans in the crowd; they all hold their breath, as time seems to slow.

         NO COPY.

2. The same as 1. However now we pull in closer on the referee, his hand now flat on the mat.

         CAPTION: One.

3. Pull in even closer on the hand of the referee has it hits down onto the ring mat.

         CAPTION: Two.

4. Tight on the referee’s hand an inch from hitting the canvas.

         CAPTION: I kick out.

Wrestlemania – Lord of the Rings (Pt. II) – MK Stangeland Jr.

(Previously, the KINGPIN attempted to take over SQUARED CIRCLE WRESTLING with the assistance of HAMMERHEAD as part of his effort to seize control of the entirety of the nations professional wrestling.

After an initial hostile takeover attempt was rebuffed, MURDOCH and REILLY have decided that the best way to strike back would be for the SQUARED CIRCLE WRESTLING ‘team’ to break in to WRESTLEMANIA – which KINGPIN already has his hands on - and hijack a spot in the show. They are currently backstage at the event.)

(6 Panels)

Panel 1: MURDOCH and REILLY stand backstage at WRESTLEMANIA along with as many of the SCW regulars as can be seen. REILLY looks like he’s still recovering from having been thrown out a window (it was a very hostile takeover attempt).

On the floor are the unconscious bodies of the people the SCW people beat up in order to secure their current position.

MURDOCH: ‘Step 2 – Sneak into the backstage area and hijack another wrestlers entrance is now complete.’

REILLY: Now we just need to wait for them to announce this guy and make our entrance!

Panel 2: MURDOCH and REILLY look at JACK HEART, who has an arm half-heartedly up in the air.

JACK HEART (1): Question.

JACK HEART (2): What’s going to keep them from throwing all of us out the moment we show our faces?

Panel 3: Pulled out shot to show all the members of SCW who are present.

REILLY: Aside from numbers?

Panel 4: Return to position of PANEL 2, though JACK HEART no longer has his hand half-way in the air.

MURDOCH: They wouldn’t dare try. To throw us out would be an affront to the proud tradition of Wrestlemania!

JACK HEART: Uh…isn’t this an affront to the proud tradition of Wrestlemania?

Panel 5: MURDOCH and REILLY look at each other.

MURDOCH: A twist surprise appearance by an unexpected challenger?

REILLY: Competitors with a grudge and something to prove?

Panel 6: MURDOCH and REILLY wave off JACK HEART’s concern.

MURDOCH: I’m pretty sure this is right up Wrestlemania’s ally.

REILLY: Fan’s will love it.

(END PAGE)

(To be continued…???)

Wrestlemania -And Time Can Do So Much- Dan Hill

I came up a blank with this one I'm afraid. So I tried to be cute and clever. 

PAGE ONE

Panel 1

A wide establishing shot of the ring at Madison Square Garden, circa March 31st 1985.

On the left of the panel/ring is SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES. In the middle of the ring, microphone in hand is HOWARD FINKEL, wearing his usual smart attire. On the right hand side of the ring/panel is JIMMY HART, a REFEREE and the monstrous man mountain that is KING KONG BUNDY.

FINKEL:                    --from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing two hundred, thirty nine pounds, SD Special Delivery Jones**.

CAPTION:                    Time is a funny thing. There are times when it seems to speed up.

CAPTION:                    Usually when you want a moment to last forever.

Panel 2

Close up on SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES, beaming at the crowd.

CAPTION:                    There are times it seems to slow to a crawl.

Panel 3

Close up on BUNDY, glowering, his bald head glistening under the show lights.

CAPTION:                    Usually when you’re looking forward to some point in the future.

Panel 4

Cut to JONES bouncing himself off the ropes, powering towards BUNDY like a freight train.

CAPTION:                    I’d like to take this moment to point out that as comic creators you can use this to your advantage.  

Panel 5

Cut to BUNDY crushing JONES against the turnbuckle, stomach first.

CAPTION:                    A lifetime can last a moment.

Panel 6

BUNDY slams down stomach first onto JONES who is lying prone on the mat.

CAPTION:                    A moment can last a lifetime.            

Panel 7

The REFEREE holds BUNDY’s arm aloft in victory.

CAPTION:                    Comics are awesome.

CAPTION:                    **The match this strip depicts lasted less time than it took you to read it. 
Probably.

WrestleMania - The Main Event - Grant McLaughlin

Please forgive the self-referential / metatextual nature of my script this week.

1 - A young Grant is on his knees, begging his mother, but she stands with her arms crossed, refusing to budge.

(1) CAPTION (GRANT): When I was young, my mother forbid me from watching wrestling.

2 - A young Grant sits on the floor close to a TV that is showing wrestling.  He is in the basement and the overhead lights are off.  The only source of light is the TV screen, which pours over Grant.  There's going to be a couple of these scenes.  Feel free to change the television size and type each time to further illustrate the passage of time.

(2) CAPTION (GRANT): ...so I obviously watched the heck out of it behind her back.

(3) TV (quietly): "...Welcome to Monday Night Raw..."

3 - A slightly older Grant now sits on the couch, watching wrestling on TV with the lights on and regular volume.  He is now in the living room of the house.

(4) CAPTION (GRANT): Discovering the true success of her edict, she relented, and I watched for many years.

(5) TV: "...Stand back! A Hurricane's coming through..."

4 - The spiritual successor to panel 1.  A now high school aged Grant is once again his knees, begging his mother, but she once again stands with her arms crossed, refusing to budge.

(6) CAPTION (GRANT): But while my mother conceded defeat on the viewing issue, I never convinced her on the "pay-per" part of it.

5 - Another living room shot.  The television is off and no one is in the room, to show that Grant has stopped watching.

(7) CAPTION (GRANT): So when I eventually fell out of the habit of watching, I did so having never seen a single Wrestlemania.

6 - (Present day) Grant and his friend sit on a couch at his friends house, watching television.  The Wrestlemania logo appears on the screen.  Grant looks a little pensive.

(8) CAPTION (GRANT): And while wrestling has changed a lot since I used to follow it, part of me is still curious about what I always missed...

(9) TV: "...this weekend, April 7th..."

WrestleMania - And Now.... - Ben Rosenthal

1.  The WrestleMania logo.  Make is flashy and awesome with fireworks and stuff. 

VOICE OVER

And now, WWE brings you WRESTLEMANIA!

2.  Same as Panel 1.  However the two mentioned logo are underneath the WrestleMania logo.  (Klickers is a Snickers rip off.  Cardboard Rockz is a Paper Jamz rip off)

VOICE OVER

Bought to you by Flickers and Cardboard Rockz -

3.  Same as Panel 2.  However the WresltleMania logo is almost completely obscured by all the sponsor logos.

VOICE OVER

- And S ‘n’ Ms, and Smash Face Energy Drink, and Work Out PLUS, and Beds and Sheets 50% Off Sale, and -

Wrestlemania - Is He Strong? Listen, Bud, He's Got Radioactive Blood - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: Peter is walking around backstage in costume, while a flatscreen on the wall shows the action outside.

TV: WELCOME TO THE WRESTLEMANIA 29 PRE-SHOW, EXCLUSIVELY ON YOUTUBE AND WWE.COM. I'M MICHAEL COLE, AND TO MY LEFT IS THE LEGEND, JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER, AS WELL AS OUR SPECIAL GUEST, THE DAILY BUGLE'S OWN JOHN JONAH JAMESON. HOW YOU DOING, JOHN?

TV: PLEASE, CALL ME MR. JAMESON, JONAH IF YOU MUST. WELL, I'M SIMPLY AS EXCITED AS CAN BE. I'VE GOT THE BUGLE'S STAR PHOTOGRAPHER, PETER PARKER, ON THE SIDELINES SNAPPING PICTURES FOR TOMMOROW'S FRONT PAGE, AND I'M HERE CALLING THE ACTION ON THIS TREMENDOUS NIGHT.

Off-Panel(from behind Spider-Man): HEY, ARACHNAMAN! YOU'RE UP!

Panel 2: Spidey is startled and nervous, having turned to face the production assistant who called out to him in the previous panel.

Peter: WHAT?

PA: LIKE I SAID, YOU'RE UP. YOU'RE THE FIRST MAN IN THE BATTLE ROYAL FOR THE PRE-SHOW! THE PYRO'S GOING ALREADY, SO GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR!

Panel 3: As Peter walks towards the entrance, he turns to look at an Arachnaman poster on the wall. Arachnaman is a dead-on recreation of Spider-Man. Peter is nervous.


Thoughtballoon(Peter): WELL, I GUESS I'VE GOT TIME, AND IF I'M LUCKY, PUNISHER'S GOTTEN THE SAME TREATMENT.

(link)

NOTE TO SELF: LOOK INTO COPYRIGHTING THE COSTUME, OR AT LEAST THE SPIDER EMBLEM.

Panel 4: Peter walks out onto the stage.

ANNOUNCER(OP): NOW MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING, HAILING FROM FOREST HILLS, QUEENS, AT 202 POUNDS,  THE AMAZING ARACHNAMAN!

Thoughtballoon(Peter): JEEZ, THEY'RE EVEN SWIPING MY ADJECTIVES!

Panel 5: close on peter, as the crowd hurls trash at him.

Crowd noise(scattered in background): OH, BOO! HISS! GO BACK TO NEW YORK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! JER-SEY! JER-SEY!

Thoughtballoon(Peter):TYPICAL JERSEY.

Panel 6: Cole, Lawler, and Jameson are at commentary. Jameson is fuming.

Jameson: THIS MENACE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED IN A WRESTLING RING! I DEMAND THIS MATCH BE STOPPED IMMEDIATELY AND THE PROPER AUTHORITIES BE CALLED!

Lawler: THE MATCH HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET, YOU OLD HOTHEAD!

Why Wrestlemania?

Because it's .

Since March 31, 1985, it's been the showcase of the immortals, where champions become legends, underdogs beat the odds to reach the heights of victory, and the Deadman rises to challenge the living once more. It's the show of shows, the most extravagant night of them all. And it's a week from today. It's bombast and grandeur and hype and spectacle on an epic scale. So lace up your boots and start up the music, it's Wrestlemania week, and if you're interested in joining in, we welcome your submissions in the comment section below.