Originally I had no idea how to write a comic page. I was at the time writing for TV and radio and those scripts are very different. I was also a very different person back then. I've matured as a writer and as an individual so there are certain edits made. Enjoy this Special Edition of my first script.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Iron Man - The Mask in the Iron Man Special Edition - Ben Rosenthal
Originally I had no idea how to write a comic page. I was at the time writing for TV and radio and those scripts are very different. I was also a very different person back then. I've matured as a writer and as an individual so there are certain edits made. Enjoy this Special Edition of my first script.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
The Mandarin - Pain to Come - R. A. Wonsowski
PAGE 22 Layout:
127
347
567
Panel 1 - Background: TONY STARK, tied to a chair, obviously beaten, face bloodied, suit stained wth dirt and dried blood, drenched in sweat, tie askew. He looks unconscious. He is in a dimly lit cave-like room. Foreground is a clear glass bowl on a wooden table.
NO COPY
Panel 2 - Same as above except a colorful golden ring is dropped in the bowl.
SoundFX: TiNG
Panel 3 - Same as above as another ring is dropped in the bowl, TONY starts to turn his head toward the sound.
SoundFX: TiNG
Panel 4 - Same as now 3 rings ar dropped in the bowl, TONY tries to open his eyes.
(off-panel): Ah. He stirs.
SoundFX: TiNG ting TiNG
Panel 5 - Same; the other 5 rings are dropped into the bowl as TONY tries weakly to lift his head.
(off-panel): I thought we would try something a little different, this time.
SoundFX: TiNGting TiNG TNG tling
Panel 6 - Our p.ov. is now to look down on Tony, a shadow falls across his beaten face as helooks up into the face of his torturer.
(off-panel): You without your weapons, I without mine.
(off-panel): Tell me, Anthony. Without our little technologies, who would inspire more fear. You...
Panel 7 - Reveal of the MANDARIN. He wears an olive green three-piece suit with a white silk shirt and a golden yellow tie. He is cloaked in a black cape,and his long hair is wild. However, his face is no longer human, but a thin humanoid version of a Chinese dragon, grinning toothily, hungrily. His skin is a mottling of green and crimson. His hands are elongated, sinewy, and clawlike that taper into talon-like finger nails.
MANDARIN: ...or ME?
CAPTION: Next Month: The Mandarin Heralds The Beyond Dragons RETURN!!!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Iron Man's Armour- Pilgrimage -Dan Hill
Page 1 (6 panels)
1.1
We open on a tight shot of Tony looking dead ahead, straight at us.
TONY (CAPTION): One day every year--
1.2
Fixed panel. Tony brings the Mark 1 Helmet down over his face.
TONY (CAPTION): -- I simplify.
1.3
Wide panel. A worms eye view of Tony in the Mark 1 armour as he touches down somewhere in a desert, sand kicking up from his landing.
TONY (CAPTION): I go back to basics--
TONY (TO HIMSELF): Still works.
1.4
Wide panel. Tony, his back to us, stands before the mouth of the cave where Iron Man was born. He has the Mark 1 helmet tucked under his arm as he looks into the cave.
TONY (CAPTION): --back to the beginning.
1.5
Wide panel, fixed viewpoint. Tony enters the cave, promptly being swallowed up by the shadows.
TONY (CAPTION): I give thanks to the man who saved me--
1.6
Inset panel. Close up of the desert floor in front of the cave and one of the footprints left by the armour.
TONY (CAPTION): -- and the mark he made.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Iron Man - Stark Naked - Max Barnard
Page One - 5 Panels - Widescreen - Equal Size
1-- We open on Tony Stark in a fancy club of some description (think an elegant, well-lit mansion, the sort of place you'd see people in fine dresses and suits dancing across the ballroom floor), suited and booted, leaning against a heavily-stocked bar, observing all the women presumably dancing outside the panel with a lecherous gaze, nursing a (non-alchoholic) drink. Next to him is an unconscious, drooling mess face-down on the counter, who if conscious would introduce himself as one Happy Hogan. Also, it is imperative that Tony has a briefcase on the bar's counter in both this panel and the next, as a small piece of continuity for the story.
NARRATION BOX/DESCRIPTIVE - 9:17pm
NARRATION BOX/TONY STARK - When you've gone through as much I have... And as many women as I've gone through...
2-- This panel is probably best left framed the same as the previous, as little has changed. The major differences between the previous panel and this one are that Tony Stark is now talking to a red-headed woman who is now sitting next to him at the bar, and that Happy Hogan is now sliding to the floor in his paralytic state. The lady's looks are an important factor in this panel, with her being a red-head who looks similar to both Pepper Potts and Black Widow. She is toying with her hair, twisting it around a solitary finger coyly as Tony is chatting her up. As a small element, Tony's tie should be loosened some now, as a visual cue that he is relaxed and in his element. Again, the briefcase is on the bar counter, unmoved.
NARRATION BOX/DESCRIPTIVE - 9:21pm
NARRATION BOX/TONY STARK - ... Everything tends to blur together. I struggle to tell apart half the people I've dealt with,
3-- We finally get to change the scenery here, moving to a hotel room. I'm going to have to be quite adamant about the framing here, if only because I am wont to do such things on occasion. The panel should have Tony Stark kissing the neck of the previously seen red-head with a passion at the far right of the panel, with her pressed against the hotel room's door, head turned toward the reader, with a disgusted sneer on her face. Ideally this shot should only go from the top of her head down to her cleavage, which should leave a sizable empty space in the rest of the panel. Not that it has to be completely empty, I mean this is a hotel room, it would have some amenities. Perhaps another open door in the background leading to the en suite bathroom, or a generic framed sunset or some such against the wall. The important thing is that it doesn't draw the eye at all away from the scene at the far right.
NARRATION BOX/DESCRIPTIVE - 9:33pm
NARRATION BOX/TONY STARK - Which can lead to any number of mistakes, let me tell you.
4-- Something a bit more detailed yet still simple enough here (in concept anyway, I'm not an artist so I can't judge), so I'll try and be straightforward as possible (also this panel may need to be larger than the others just because it's got a fair few more text boxes). This panel is in the same hotel room from before, now viewed from the bed out towards the rest of the room. Details of what's in the room and where are entirely unimportant, outside of keeping the continuity established in the last panel. However, we will now see two more items in the room we couldn't really see in panel 3. These items are Tony's Briefcase (see, I was going somewhere with it having to be in panels 1 & 2!), probably best placed somewhere on the floor, considering Tony won't have really thought where he was tossing it whilst dragging the woman to the hotel room, and a dresser against one of the walls, with a note on top of it. Tony Stark himself is sat up in the bed, hand against his head, looking out into the room. He's not hungover of course, but having him nursing his head creates a good image in the mind of what crazy-awesome things he's exhausted himself doing last night.
NARRATION BOX/DESCRIPTIVE - 11:49am
TEXT BOX w/ ARROW at NOTE ON DRESSER/DESCRIPTIVE - Note declaring revenge against Stark for previous transgression, noting stolen clothes and possible transmission of a sexual disease. Includes name that draws blank.
TEXT BOX w/ ARROW at BRIEFCASE/DESCRIPTIVE - Briefcase containing Iron Man armour, presumably left behind because it didn't factor into revenge plans.
NARRATION BOX/TONY STARK - Most of the time all I get are people trying to get revenge. But no matter what...
[Aside: to say I struggled with panel 4 is an understatement. How would YOU script a text box with an arrow pointing at something and describing it?]
5-- I'm not gonna lie, this is technically two panels, but one is in the other so I'm calling it five to pretend I ever had a clue what length this page was going to go. The main panel is just Iron Man flying through the air. The inset panel is Iron Man sliding open the large balcony window of the hotel room to take his leave.
INSET SFX - SKRRSH
INSET NARRATION BOX/DESCRIPTIVE - 11:52am
INSET NARRATION BOX/TONY STARK - But no matter what...
MAIN NARRATION BOX/TONY STARK - I'm always prepared. For anything.
SPEECH/IRON MAN - Oof, that's uncomfortable.
MAIN NARRATION BOX/TONY STARK - Except for the chafing, obviously.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Iron Man - A Religious Experience - Brandon Whaley
PANEL 1:
We see a savannah from a distance. The wind is blowing across the plains.
CAPTION 1: “Something like this could only happen to me.”
CAPTION 2: “It's happened to me several times.”
PANEL 2:
Another shot of the savannah, this time a bit closer up.
CAPTION 1: “Well, to be fair, its happened to Victor von Doom as well. I'm sure he's still around somewhere.”
CAPTION 2: “I no longer care.”
PANEL 3:
We see a shot of a cheetah taking down a gazelle. It rips its claws into the animal and shreds its flesh.
CAPTION 1: “The year is 1863. The British still rule India.”
CAPTION 2: “I left that place a few months ago.”
PANEL 4:
This time we see savannah again, and to the left a small grove of trees. Beyond them in the distance are what appear to be huts of some sort.
CAPTION: “I've been here about 11 months, give or take. I honestly don't count anymore.”
PANEL 5:
We see the same huts, but from a closer vantage, as if we are approaching them. They are obviously very primitive, being made of straw and mud.
CAPTION 1: “Back in the present time I was a drunk, a nobody. A very rich nobody, but that just enabled me.”
CAPTION 2: “But here...here I'm something more.”
PANEL 6:
We zoom in close on the village. They huts are arranged vaguely in a circle. There seems to be an unnatural glow coming from the center.
CAPTION 1: “I've never been a religious man, but I've fought alongside Thor for years now. Never understood the significance.”
CAPTION 2: “But now...now I understand how it feels...”
PANEL 7:
We see the center of the village and the source of the glow. Tony Stark, in full Iron Man armor, is floating a few feet off the ground. Surrounding him are 20-30 natives, all of which are bowing prostrate facing Tony.
CAPTION: “...to be a god.”
Title across the bottom: A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE
OK, please keep in mind that I've never in my life written in anything other than prose form. This whole "script" format is fresh to me. That's the point of this site, though, to fine-tune the craft, eh?
Iron Man - Empires - Matt Duarte
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Iron Man - Autograph - Rol Hirst
Panel One.
Long shot. Interior. An exclusive Manhattan bar. Tony Stark sits alone drinking Ginger Ale. He's lost in a million thoughts. Off camera, a woman approaches... (Her shadow falls over Tony?)
Woman: Excuse me...?
Panel Two.
Tony turns to face the woman. A gorgeous brunette in a dress to die for. Vamp-central. Femme-extra-fatale.
Woman: Tony Stark?
Panel Three.
Close on Tony, smiling at the woman, raising an eyebrow Roger Moor-style... while his thoughts go into overdrive.
Tony (thinking - small letters jumbled together to represent Tony's superfast thought processes - certain words stand out in larger font): THREAT analysis? Unknown assailant. No visible weaponry. Does NOT appear HOSTILE. Then again, neither did WHITNEY FROST or KATHLEEN DARE... or WANDA. (BTW, must remember to get that waitress's phone number.) Projecting 4... no, 5 hand-to-hand combat scenarios even if she's Taskmaster-trained, can also be suited up in under 2.7 SECONDS if required.
Panel Four.
Tony's on charm offensive. The woman vamps and asks for his autograph. Tony reaches inside his jacket pocket.
Woman: Mr. Stark, I'm a huge fan. I wonder if I could have your autograph...
Tony: Tony, please. And of course. I always keep a few spare--
Panel Five.
He produces a signed photo from his pocket and offers it to the woman with a grin. A smarmy corporate mugshot, already signed.
Panel Six.
The woman smiles back politely, then starts to unbutton her blouse. Tony is shocked (in an amused way). He takes his pen and moves in to sign her boob.
Woman: Oh, but I'm sure there are millions of 8x10 glossies out there with your signature on, Tony... I was thinking of something a little more personal...
Tony: Well, when you put it like that...
Panel Seven.
Suddenly, the Iron Man armour forms itself around Tony, preventing him from signing the breast. As the mask is the last thing to move into place, we can still see his surprised expression. The woman steps backwards, surprised also.
Tony (more crammed, superfast thinking): Suit's remote CHEMICAL ANALYSIS reveals combination of ink on skin would lead to organic synthesis 2(CH3)3SiCN + H2O → (CH3)3SiOSi(CH3)3 + 2 HCN Product - HYDROGEN CYANIDE. Headache, nausea, vomiting, convulsions, loss of consciousness (pity, she's CUTE - sigh, the insane ones always are), respiratory failure, DEATH.
Panel Eight.
The woman freezes, knowing the game's up. Iron Man trains his repulsor on her like a gun.
Iron Man: I'm sorry, ma'am. Hammer, Stane, Osborn... Tell whoever you're working for - nice try.
Iron Man: Hazmat units are on their way, estimated response time 1 minute 13; satellites are tracking your position from 47 different angles... Can I trust you to wait here while they arrive?
Woman: Y-yes...
Panel Nine.
Exterior. Tony jets away from the bar (it's called Layton's), leaving the dazed woman standing in the doorway as police cars screech to a halt in the street outside.
SFX: (Sirens) Whoooeeeeeoooooowwwwww!
Tony: Sorry I can't stick around for the fight scene, but I've a board meeting in five, the Avengers need me in the Negative Zone at 6, then I'm on Letterman later, if I get back in time.
Tony: You have a nice day now.
Tony (thinking): Sigh. They always go for my WEAKNESSES...
Iron Man - Life of the Party - James McNeill
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Iron Man - The Armory - Simon McDonald
Monday, May 24, 2010
Iron Man - The Mask in the Iron Man - Ben Rosenthal
TONY STARK and PEPPER POTTS have just finished ‘expressing’ their feelings for each other, in the naked way. Pepper rolls to her side of the bed, as we look down on the two exhausted individuals lying COVERED in bed. Pepper is giddy, Tony's wrist resting upon his forehead as he stares at the roof with a distant look on his face
PEPPER: That, Mr Stark, was your best performance yet
TONY (obviously not as satisfied as Pepper): Glad I could rise to your expectations
PEPPER (picking up on Tony’s non-plusness): What is it?
TONY (realising he is not in the moment snaps back to reality): Oh no, it was great, you were great. I didn’t know you were double jointed...
PEPPER: So great that you couldn’t help but look bored straight after? Was I that bad?
TONY: No, it wasn’t you, I was just thinking about.....nothing
PEPPER: Nothing?
TONY: Nothing.
PEPPER: You’re Tony Stark. You’re always thinking something. If I was that bad you can just let me know, I mean I’m not Madam Masque but I could grab some tin foil and...
TONY: I was thinking about my father
Silence as both Tony and Pepper think about this statement.
PEPPER: Ew
TONY: Not like that.
PEPPER (smirking at making Tony uncomfortable): Like how then?
TONY: Where do I start? We could skip all the “he was to interested in his work to pay any attention to me” part of the conversation, not to mention the whole “I became great with machines to get my father’s approval” section, and go straight to – I think my father created Iron Man
PEPPER (confused): I don’t want to sound insensitive as you’re obviously having a post-coital moment, but huh?
TONY: He may not have made the suit, but I was already Iron Man long before it came along. My father never gave me the attention I craved so badly from him, never showed the affection I needed. I turned to machines in order to gain his approval, but I think I a part of me found them so appealing because they are emotionless.
PEPPER’s smirk fades as she realises that TONY is being serious
TONY: They can never judge you, never make you feel inferior. There was never a threat of rejection with machines as there was with people. As such, I became comfortable, enjoying the company of machines over real people. (Turning to PEPPER) Or have you never noticed that a multi-billionaire in his 40’s only has one friend, and has had just under that number of serious relationships.
PEPPER looks at TONY, looking at the man she has known for years, but is only seeing for the first time. TONY returns his gaze to the ceiling.
TONY: I have always been a man of iron. By keeping all relationships plutonic, I prevented anyone from ‘getting in’, protecting myself so I would not fall short of someone else’s idea of what I should be. Thanks to my father, I have always been Iron Man – the shrapnel just gave me an excuse to make it official.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Iron Man - Murder Calls For The Iron Man - Ryan K Lindsay
1. Tony Stark sits on the bench in his living room, his sleeves are rolled up, his tie is loosened but still tied (not a bow tie either, I want a real tie). There are empty bottles on trays, a pretty girl asleep and facing away from us on the far end of the couch. There are a variety of party-goers littered in a cordon around the room, standing and sitting. His drink is just near his lips.
Tony: It’s a funny thing that people think I’m just some drunken boob when I’m not covered in an alloy.
Caption: He’s drinking Shirley Temples; only a few would know that.
Caption: I’ve been behind this curtain, though. Many times.
2. Tony is pouring more vermouth (or so it would appear) into his glass, he looks laid back, but the smile is most certainly gone.
Tony: And I might just be, but with my levels of money I’m the most powerful drunk you’ll ever meet, so no one leaves this room until I find out what happened.
Caption: I know what happened.
3. Tony walks over to the sleeping girl on the end of the couch and we see that half her face is singed off, a repulsor ray has gone straight across her head. Tony’s back is to most of the crowd, and he does not look happy at all.
Caption: I saw it all. I could speak up but what would then stop her from killing me?
4. Tony has turned around and is throwing his glass down on the ground, his face is pure anger. We see a discarded Iron Man wrist and hand set, kind of like a gauntlet, alone on the floor, discarded, pushed away once its use was accomplished.
Tony: This does not happen in my house. This does not happen with my things!
Caption: She didn’t need the glove to get the job done; I know that much. She could handle me quite easily, maybe even Stark himself outside of his suit.
5. Tony is picking up the gauntlet.
Tony: Someone in this room’s laughing at me. Someone’s laughing sick and I just won’t stand that.
Caption: He’ll have to do it quickly because I’m pretty sure the bomb attached to my thorax is going to go off no matter what he finds out.
6. We see a pretty young girl, black hair in a sort of middle-part flick, like Vera Farmiga in Up In The Air. She is sitting back in the couch among the other guests and she looks sad.
Caption: I’m going to die tonight, that’s for sure, it’s simply a matter of how many I take out with me.
Caption: I don’t want to kill anyone, but that little part inside me does. It’s tricky fighting a war within yourself. You’re always going to lose.
This would be the very first page of a new issue of a new arc. It puts Tony Stark in the spotlight and leads the story into a more procedural, nourish, territory. Something just a little different, something stand alone.
I figure the next page would be a half splash page of an exterior shot of the house, cars parked outside, the sun just on its last setting legs. It’s a laid back Silver Age feel through sepia tones. We get credits.
Tony Stark in ‘Murder Calls For The Iron Man’
The bottom half of the page would have Tony putting on the gauntlet and pouring another drink. The inspector is settling in. Then we make with the inevitable flash back. We need to find out more about this mysterious lady/ladies on his couch…
Why Iron Man?
It is only a one page script. Have you ever read a script before? It's easy, half the page is lost in empty formatting. And it's not even a total issue, it's just on page. That's all we're asking of you. There are 9 of us and 7 days in the week, you won't be hit up too often, but we hope you will enjoy what we hit you up with. Then, there's the decision of the first character.
Do you go in for the obvious and add to the many Spider-Man, Wolverine, Batman comics on the stands? Do you go for the obviously not too obvious by joining in on the Deadpool bandwagon? Would one of the cool kids show off their indie chops by selecting Asterios Polyp, or even some Robert Crumb?
I chased my tail for a while trying to work out where this should all begin and then my mate boiled it down instantly and easily. Iron Man. Why? Because he’s just had a massive movie (and that can’t hurt with the site hits), and everyone should know who he is, and he’s a cool character and should be easy/interesting to write. I won't actually believe that anyone or anything is easy to write, but he's a more streamlined choice than kicking things off with someone like the 50's Captain America. Iron Man has now become a pretty iconic comic character and we want to write comic scripts so it seemed like a good fit. In fact, it was the perfect answer.
Tony Stark is charismatic, smart, good looking, and just a little bit kooky. Iron Man is sleek, dangerous, powerful, and completely awesome. Who wouldn’t want to write a page where these two fantastic characters are in fact the same character? So here we are now, all about to look at a stack of Iron Man one page scripts. We hope you enjoy.
In the future, I have plenty more characters I am eager to write, and eager to see others tackle. I have a list, it’s on my computer, and it’s very long. I’ll have time later to hit my favourite character, and then my favourite villains, and even my favourite indie/creator owned guys and gals. And I’m sure we’ll get to them all because I plan on being here a long while.
We hope you enjoy Iron Man and we wish to thank Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, Don Heck, and Jack Kirby because without them Iron Man would not be around.
