Itty Bitty Comics - Itty Bitty Youngblood - P. A. Nolte

1/ Youngblood!  Shaft, Chapel, Badrock, Vogue, and Troll.  These are the most extreme members of the most extreme team of most extreme mercenaries ever to be assembled.  They burst through a doorway (?) into their headquarters (?) with guns and bows and fists a'blazing.  It's actually kind of hard to tell what's going on or where they are exactly, but they look so cool jumping through the air and stuff.  Totally awesome.

Badrock: Yabba Dabba--

SFX: FOOMPH

SFX: PEW PEW

2/ Shaft looks down confused at his bow and arrows.

Shaft: Foomph?!  What's wrong with these arrows?  It's like they're made out of foam!

3/ Vogue tries to strike a seductive pose, but comes off looking merely cute.  Even cute might be overstating the sexualization.

Vogue: My-- My back doesn't hurt!  What's going on?

4/ Ignoring her, Chapel is looking directly down the barrel of one of his guns.  Don't worry!  They aren't loaded.

Chapel: At least you can still shoot something, Shaft.  My guns light up at the end with LEDs!  Can't even shoot sucker darts or something?  Dang.

5/ Troll is nonplussed, more or less used to being an oddly-shaped bruiser, but Badrock has his three-fingered hands up in front of his face, inspecting them with a confused grimace.

Troll: I don't feel any different.

Badrock: Didn't I used to have four fingers?

ITTY BITTY COMICS—SANDMAN—DAVID PRESS

PAGE ONE.

I'm thinking wide-shot panels would be good for this page.

1.1: We’re going to open on an EIGHT-YEAR OLD BOY in his bed, covers over his head, eyes closed tight. Behind him is a window that looks out to a starry night sky.

            NO DIALOGUE.

1.2: Similar shot, but this time the window is replaced by the dream the boy is having. You could do this with a thought balloon, but the detail that’s necessary is that this dream is stressful for the boy.

The image over the window could be something absolutely horrific and terrifying for the kid—I have no idea what. What terrifies a little kid? I don’t have kids so maybe garden snakes? How about Brussels Sprouts, or some other veggies? I dislike mushrooms and heights, so maybe the kid is bungy jumping? That would terrify me. Regardless, I’ll leave it up to your imagination.

            1. BOY: AHHHH!

1.3: MORPHEUS—what Neil Gaiman’s Morpheus would look like at six years old and if Charles Schultz drew him—materializes near the window. Remnants of the Little Boy’s dream floats over Morpheus’s head. Sandman pats the child's head.

            2. DREAM: Shhh. Shhhh.

1.4: Morpheus holds a MASON JAR over his head and is sweeping the boy’s nightmare into it.

            NO DIALOGUE.

1.5: The BOY leans up out of bed, looking up at Morpheus, who has his hand on the boy’s chest.

            3. MORPHEUS: Don’t forget: bad things can be contained.

            4. BOY: Thanks, Dream.

--END--

Itty Bitty Transmetropolitan - R. A. Wonsowski

Turn the Page will continue after the following public service announcement...

Panel 1 - the stage of a strip joint. A buxom, yet leggy topless dancer cavorting around the stripper pole in front of a red velvet curtain, a vacant look in her eyes, her nipples covered with pasties that look like UPC barcodes, wearing a Santa hat and a g-string decorated in jingle bells.  The disco lights barely cutting through the cigarette smoke, patrons and drinks are scattered and demolished like a war zone.

SPIDER (off panel, from behind curtain): Merry Christmas, sinners. Where parents buy blinky idiot screens for their kids so they can play with their new blinky idiot screens...

Panel 2- same as above, however ITTY BITTY SPIDER JERUSALEM has emerged from behind the curtain, walking between the stripper's legs with a cigarette between his teeth, scratching a match alight on the inner thigh of the dancer. He is speaking up at her breasts.

SPIDER: I myself never had blinky idiot screens growing up. Hang on...

SPIDER: WHERE ARE YOUR LUNCH TAPS?!?

Panel 3- SPIDER, now past the tables in the background, walks past a BOUNCER that looks like a steroid-filled Hagar the Horrible in a black suit and shades. He even has the horned helmet on. He stares blankly ahead as SPIDER jumps up and high-fives the BOUNCER and lights his smoke at the same time.

SPIDER: No, as I linger in my childhood olfactory memory of scrotal sweat and talc, I'm thankful for the greatest gift my parents ever gave me.

SPIDER: They bloody talked to me.

Panel 4- from outside Bazoom's Cabaret, ITTY BITTY SPIDER JERUSALEM looks over his live shades at us, cig in his teeth again and pointing at us accusingly.

SPIDER: Any shit-heel with unrestrained naughty bits can breed spawn.

SPIDER: Turn off your blinking screen and go hug your kid before you can't.

Itty Bitty Comics - The Itty Bitty Hard Goodbye - Grant McLaughlin

1 - Establishing shot of Kadie's.  Suffice it to say that everything is a lot better lit, more family friendly, and the like in its Itty Bitty Comics iteration.

MARV (from within): Goldie...

2 - Itty Bitty Marv sits at the bar, holding an apple juice.  He looks sad.

MARV: Her name was Goldie.

3 - Marv knocks back the apple juice, finishing it in the single swig.

MARV: I don't know who you were.

4 - Marv holds up a hand to motion for another drink.  Itty Bitty Nancy and Shellie look at each other, concerned (and wearing a lot more clothing than you'd ever see in actual Sin City).

MARV: Besides an angel of course.

SHELLIE: Is Marv okay?  He's narrating again.

5 - Nancy brings another apple juice to Marv.  Nancy looks back towards Shellie.

MARV: But you were a friend and more when I needed one

NANCY: He has bad luck with pets...

6 - From the other side of the bar, we see a fish bowl (which had been previously hidden by the bar) sitting on the stool next to Marv.  A goldfish floats at the top, belly up.  Marv looks down, saddened.

NANCY (off-panel): ...And I think it's starting to get to him.

MARV: I love you, Goldie.

Itty Bitty Comics – Itty Bitty (Atomic) Robo: Let’s Do Some Science! – MK Stangeland Jr.

(DR. DINOSAUR made a ‘Science gun’ to pester ATOMIC ROBO with. Then ATOMIC ROBO broke the gun with violence.)

(6 Panels)

Panel 1: ATOMIC ROBO, VIK, BERNARD, and FOLEY stand next to a swirling vortex of energy floating just off the ground made up of science-y colors – a ‘vortex of science’.

ATOMIC ROBO: What is it?

VIK: I think it’s some kind of science vortex.

Panel 2: ROBO looks to VIK. BERNARD continues to look at the ‘vortex of science’ as FOLEY picks a decent-sized rock off the ground.

ROBO: Don’t be silly. Science isn’t a physical thing.

Panel 3: FOLEY throws the rock into the ‘vortex of science’.

Panel 4: The rock vanishes into ‘vortex of science’.

SFX: SCIENCE!

Panel 5: ROBO looks a mix of confusion and concern.

ROBO: What just happened?

BERNARD: I think science happened.

Panel 6: ROBO has his arms up with frustration.

ROBO: That is not science! Science doesn't just ‘happen’!

FOLEY: It kind of did.

(END PAGE)

Why 'Itty Bitty Comics'?

Not seen - L'il Battlestar Galactica. Yeah, Battlestar Galactica.

Because one, as has been stated by others in various ways in the past, “All Ages” isn’t just a fancy way of saying “this is for children”.

Because two, sometimes simplicity really is the best way to go.

“Itty Bitty Comics” – as I’ve termed them for simplicity sake – are strong reminders of both. Less a title, more a writing and artistic style, ‘Itty Bitty Comics’ is basically a shorthand reference to a series of titles by writing duo Art Baltazar & Franco. One that includes, among others, the likes of “Tiny Titants”, “Itty Bitty Hellboy”, and “Itty Bitty Mask”. One that sees the pair re-write established comic titles in their own signature style, with an emphasis on the aforementioned ‘all ages’ and ‘simplicity’.

And ‘fun’. That too – another important element of comics that oftentimes gets forgotten in this day an age.

It’s a method that they employ to great effect, churning out issues that may well surprise you. Or may not, depending on what your expectations are.

And now, it’s Thought Balloons turn to try their own hand at the style of Baltazar & Franco, either continuing their own ideas or picking out a title they haven’t adapted and trying it yourself.

Aw Yeah…