Paranormal Romance: "The Flipper and the Girl"--David Press.

1.1: We’re in an outdoor pool where streams of SWIMMERS are doing laps. There’s a tile pool deck framed by giant trees stretching in the distance. Just to the left of the panel there’s a COACH in shorts and polo, blowing out his whistle.

1. CAPTION [Time/Location]:    Fairfield, Connecticut.

SFX:                      TWEEE!

2.COACH:             Everyone out of the pool!

1.2: Switching to the other side of the panel where the swimmers climb out of the pool and among the male and human bodies are bodies of people who are most definitely not human. They’re grin skinned with webbed fingers and toes, no hair, and small fin-like mohawks. They’ll be called FLIPPERS. They all gather around the short, stout Coach.

3.COACH:             All right, Flippers, get some good rest tonight because we have New Haven tomorrow afternoon.

1.4: The swimmers begin heading into their separate locker rooms. In the crowd, we can see one FLIPPER stepping close to a GIRL with short-cut dirty-blonde hair that is pasted to her small head. She tries not to notice him.

4.FLIPPER:            Hey, I’m Finn.

1.5: Now we’re in a heavily wooded area where FINN and ELOISE are walking along a lakeside. They’re dressed like your average high school kids: tights and skirt, cardigan and a fun hat for Eloise; varsity jacket and converses for FINN.

5.CAPTION:           “…I’m Eloise.”

6.FINN:                    What do you like to do for fun?

7.ELOISE:                Well…I…don’t have much time for anything else but swimming.

1.6: Let’s take a look at these two young people from their backs as they skip rocks across the surface of the placid lake that reflects the trees all around them.

8.FINN:                I get that. Sometimes I feel like swimming is all I’m meant to do. Y’know?

9.ELOISE:            Yeah…because you’re a—

10.FROM OFF:         FREEZE!

And then two police officers arrest Finn for a drowning near the lake...

Paranormal Romance - A Mournful Cry - Perry Kent

Panel 1

External, evening, countryside. DONELL stands over a bloody corpse lying on the ground. In one hand he clutches a bloody knife. It is twilight and they are in a field.

1. DONELL (caption): She always comes…

2. DONELL (caption): Always.

Panel 2

A bright light illuminates DONELL as the stunningly beautiful BANSHEE appears a few meters from DONELL. She is speaking to him even as she appears.

3. BANSHEE: You tempt fate, Donell McCaffrey.

Panel 3

DONELL and the BANSHEE kiss in a passionate embrace of two long lost loves.

Panel 4

BANSHEE breaks away from DONELL, a sadness on her face. He looks after her longingly.

4. BANSHEE: I must go.

Panel 5

A tear rolls down the BANSHEE's cheek as she lets loose her mournful cry.

5. BANSHEE (SFX): AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

6. DONELL (caption): ...always...

-END-

Paranormal Romance – Do Vampires Dream of Undead Sheep: Sparkless Romance - Dr. Ludwig Von Helsinger (As told to MK Stangeland Jr.)

(Way way back when (over 5 years ago now!), before I was officially a member of Thought Balloons, I wrote a play-at-home script for DRACULA week. The script below was spawned as result of that script, an adaptation of part of a stage play that I tried working on for a short time that I haven’t ENTIRELY given up on one day completing yet.)

Panel 1: DRACULA sits at a bus stop somewhere in NEW YORK CITY. He’s wearing a black suit, with a black shirt and black tie, black shoes, and even black sunglasses, which all highly contrast his blood-drained white skin.

Sitting next to him is LUCY, a young woman who’s dressed for some kind of generic but decent if unglamorous job. She is looking in DRACULA’s direction. DRACULA looks back, annoyed and confused.

LUCY (1): Are you a vampire?

LUCY (2): I only ask because you have such white skin.

LUCY (3): Except, with the sunlight out…

Panel 2: DRACULA bares his teeth at LUCY, trying to look menacing. LUCY, however, looks excited.

LUCY (1): I knew it!

LUCY (2): What kind of makeup are you using?!

Panel 3: DRACULA is a mix of confused, annoyed, and disgusted at LUCY’s behavior as LUCY looks she could practically get up and do a little happy dance.

DRACULA (1): Woman, where…

LUCY (1): …does the blood flow strongest through my neck?

LUCY (2): I’ve often wondered that myself, but I think…

DRACULA (2): What kind of…

LUCY (3): Place have I been hiding all your life?

DRACULA (3): Just who do you think…

LUCY (4): You are?

LUCY (4): Why, only the man I’ve…

Panel 4: DRACULA practically explodes at LUCY, having had enough of whatever madness she’s spouting.

DRACULA (1): WOMAN!

DRACULA (2): Would you STOP!

Panel 5: DRACULA looks angrily at LUCY as she recomposes herself.

LUCY: You’re right…

Panel 6: LUCY has laid down on the bench with her head o DRACULA’s lap. Her arm closer to DRACULA loosely grabs around the back of his neck, her other arm hands out loosely. Her neckline has been undone, LUCY having cleared her neck to make it easy for DRACULA to access. The scene might almost be sensual if it weren’t so ridiculous.

DRACULA looks down at LUCY, he has absolutely no idea how to react; he’s beyond even the point of knowing if he should be surprised and confused anymore.

(END PAGE)

Paranormal Romance - Love Hurts - Grant McLaughlin

I'm going for a deep cut for my script this week. Longtime readers may remember my particular iteration of Dracula and Frankenstien('s monster).

1 - Night time. Establishing shot of "The Devil's Due" bar. As per usual, the parking lot is mostly empty, with only a handful of vehicles present.

DRACULA (from within): I simply cannot abide this obscene literary fad!

2 - Dracula sits at the bar, gesticulating wildly, his frustration getting the better of him. He wears some rather fancy and stylish clothing, somewhat out of line with the low key ambience of the establishment. Frankenstein stands behind the bar, pouring a bottle of crimson red liquid into a tumbler.

DRACULA (1): Why not Paranormal Noir?

DRACULA (2): Paranormal Non-Fiction?

DRACULA (3): Paranormal Self-Help?

3 - Frankenstein passes the tumbler towards Dracula, but he is too busy continuing on his tirade to pay much notice.

DRACULA: This insistence on such a reductive premise only serves to perpetuate unrealistic stereotypes!

4 - Dracula pauses, an elbow on the bar, his hand supporting his head. He looks sullenly into his glass. Frankenstein starts cleaning a different glass, asking a question of his friend.

FRANKENSTEIN: SO DATE NO GO WELL?

5 - Dracula holds the same position, but his eyes look up towards Frankenstein.

NO COPY

6 - Dracula puts his head on top of his arm on the bar, covering his head with his other arm, as if he's trying to hide.

DRACULA (quietly): I don't want to talk about it.

Paranormal Romance - Afterlife - P. A. Nolte

1/ A naked woman, slightly disheveled, clings to the wheel on the heavy metal door of an ornate containment unit to help keep herself upright.  She is tastefully covered by her voluminous black hair and copious amounts of steam, like The Birth Of Venus.  The unit is boxy, akin to a modern day furnace, with brass tubing and several receptacles on the side. Only one receptacle is currently used, holding what looks to be a half-empty glass jar of orange mud.  The woman looks like a frightened animal.  She's suffering temporarily from sensory overload.

These are the results of a man desperately trying to re-corporealize the spirit of his dead wife.

1.1/ Silhouette.  A man kneeling in front of a grave.  He holds a wilting bouquet.  Behind him, the sun sets.

Caption: The loss.

1.2/ The same man, wearing goggles, working with metal. About to bring down a hammer.  Behind him, blueprints.

Caption: The anger.

1.3/ He flips a switch on a console, lifting his goggles to see.  Behind him, the containment unit.

Caption: The drive.

Caption: ...But it wasn't her.

Why Paranormal Romance?

I know how it sounds.

You're picturing the inescapable sparkle of pouty vampires.  And that's fine.  If Sookie Stackhouse is your jam, by all means.  But let's not pretend that's the be-all end-all of Paranormal Romance.  Besides monstrous hits like Twilight, there are films like Warm Bodies and Make Out With Violence.  TV shows like Pushing Daisies and iZombie.  And there's more to the genre than just vampires and zombies.

There were werewolves, too, I guess.  Kind of.  It's a long story.

A quick glance through Wikipedia, if it can be trusted, will give you a publication year of 1740 for Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve's Beauty and the Beast, the version that popularized the fairy tale.  Of course, the story itself may actually be several thousand years old.  That's just a little longer than any undead denizens of Forks have been making googoo eyes at high schoolers.

So, this week, put a little jump scare in your rom-com.  Make some weird science.  I mean, just because she has bolts in her neck doesn't mean she isn't cute.  Right?