Quantum & Woody - Shameless Plug (or, Preaching to the Choir) - by R.A. Wonsowski

1 - Black Panel across the top, with white "typewriter" text.  Copy reads:
"Who Can Save Us Now?!"

Rest of page lays out like this:

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Panels 3 to 7 are all white backgrounds.


2 - Interior, a 7-Eleven mini-mart.  Two DINGBATS in hoodies and sunglasses are out cold on the floor.  Chips and soda are strewn about as the manager and cashier look on the mess with "I wonder who's gonna clean up this mess" looks upon their faces.  QUANTUM and WOODY look disappointedly at their catch.  QUANTUM is ejecting the bullet from the chamber of a cheap semi-automatic pistol.  WOODY is sipping from a bottle of cola from a straw.

WOODY:  Well, this was another lackluster use of our talents.

QUANTUM:  Now, Woody, the weed of crime grows in untended gardens such as...


3 - Foreground, QUANTUM throws his hands up in despair.  WOODY looks concerned after his partner.

QUANTUM:  Oh, who are we kidding?!?  This is USELESS!!!

WOODY:  Eric?

QUANTUM:  Why are we even bothering?  We've already been cancelled TWICE!!


4 - WOODY puts his hand on QUANTUM's shoulder, as QUANTUM looks toward the reader in despair.

WOODY:  What are you talking about?

QUANTUM:  And now we're being relaunched!  Oh, please, fickle comics-buying audience!  Reject us again!

QUANTUM:  If they won't buy Chris "Black Panther" Priest, what makes them think they'll buy these new guys?!


5 - WOODY pulls out his smartphone with a crooked smile on his face.  QUANTUM looks at the screen.

WOODY:  Well, why not get one of these guys to write...

QUANTUM:   ..."Thought Balloons".


6 - Close-up on WOODY's smartphone screen with the ThoughtBalloons logo across the top, held
in a white-gloved hand.

WOODY:  Yeah, these guys are unpublished for the most part, but they're dedicated.  And a lot of what they write is pretty good.


7 - QUANTUM, now more confident, points to WOODY's cellphone screen. WOODY rolls his eyes.

QUANTUM:  You know, this isn't a bad idea.  What about this guy?

WOODY:  Wonsowski?  The Rob Liefeld of the written word?  Please...

Quantum and Woody in: Birding Bridges - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: Quantum and Woody are driving together, with Woody at the wheel. His cellphone is ringing.

Woody: OOP, THAT'S THE ALARM, TIME TO BANG THE BANDS.

Panel 2: They both raise their arms to bang the bands together, but Quantum's is gone. They are both surprised.

Both: WHAAAAAAAAAA?!

Woody: WHERE COULD IT BE?

Quantum: I DON'T KNOW!

Panel 3: An eagle is flying Quantum's band back to its nest.

Caption(Woody): WELL, WHEREVER IT IS, WE HAVE TO FIND IT!

Quantum and Woody - Team Players - J.D. Coughlan

Panel 1: Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman sit behind a desk facing us. Superman and Wonder Woman have open, friendly expressions, Batman has his arms folded and a scowl on his face.

SUPERMAN: What do you feel you can bring to our team?

Panel 2: Opposite POV. Quantum and Woody sit across from them. I don't know if they have costumes, but if not, Quantum should be dressed formally, Woody casually. Quantum calmly talks while Woody sits back in his chair, arms folded, a mischievous grin on his face.

QUANTUM: Well, we have a rather unique power-set, an eager sense of social awareness, a strong desire to help people...

Panel 3: Woody suddenly springs to life, throwing his arms wide. Quantum's expression falls.

WOODY: I can shoot lasers out my face!

QUANTUM: He can't.

Panel 4: Woody counts off on his fingers, Quantum facepalms.

WOODY: I can talk to animals (they just don't talk back), I can solve a Rubik's cube in zero seconds, I can fly at the speed of speed, my whole body is made of indestructibilium, and I'm a level 500 mage in World of Warcraft.

WOODY: Also: magnets.

Panel 5: Woody sits back, confident. Quantum glares at him.

WOODY: And, as far as the dress code goes, while I am very willing to go pantsless, we have to talk about those collars.

Panel 6: Reverse POV again. Superman and Wonder Woman stare blankly, dumbfounded. Batman hasn't changed.

WONDER WOMAN: ...

SUPERMAN: ...

BATMAN: To be honest, we're kinda desperate.

END OF PAGE

Quantum and Woody. – The Quantum Conundrum of Jack Bauer. – Shaun Richens.

PAGE TWENTY – 8 Panels.

Layout. Page layout is similar in style to the spilt screens from the tv show 24.

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1. Black title panel. The classic Quantum and Woody title font in white reads. “The Quantum Conundrum of Jack Bauer”

2. Close up on an iPhone type phone screen. The phone rests on a bedside table. A message has popped up on the phone screen.

It reads 24 missed calls: Eric.

3. A black panel with a digital clock read out overlaid on it. The clock reads.

23:57:32

4. QUANTUM in full costume sprints down a busy city street. He holds his cell phone to his ear.

QUANTUM: Woody! If my atoms break apart because you’re asleep I’ll …

5. Cut to WOODY fast asleep in bed.

WOODY: Z.Z.Z.Z.

6. The GOAT is eating a bundle of $100 bills.

CAPTION: *A story for another time.

7. Black panel. The classic Quantum and Woody white title font reads.

“Will Quantum and Woody Klang in time?*”

“*They honestly swear they’re not a couple.”

Quantum & Woody – Split Personality Disorder – MK Stangeland Jr.

(QUANTUM and WOODY failed to connect their gauntlets in time! Fortunately, they were saved with the help of PROFESSOR VON RILETH [A character I made up because I haven’t read the series and don’t know if there’s already an appropriate character in existence for this kind of thing]. Unfortunately, the process fused them into one body. Were they better off dead? Or might there be hope for them yet?...)

(6 Panels)

Panel 1: QUANTUM/WOODY looks into a mirror, the individual looking back at him has a shocked look on his face. The fused form should look roughly how you might expect if you visually blended the two individual characters – height half-way in between the two, a skin tone that sits roughly in the middle between QUANTUM’s dark and WOODY’s light, etc.

In the background of the mirror reflection is VON RILETH, who is shrugging and has an apologetic ‘I’m sorry, but I did what I had to please don’t hate me’ look on his face.

QUANTUM/WOODY: Wwhhaytd odiildo oykoluiek wdeoh atdoa bmaeby?!

Panel 2: QUANTUM/WOODY try to turn around, but trip as both individuals – sharing control of the body – try to do different things at the same time.

QUANTUM/WOODY (1): AWnhdyw hiast iistt hsios gdiibfbfeirciuslht…

QUANTUM/WOODY (2): AAAAHHH!

Panel 3: As QUANTUM/WOODY lies on the ground, VON RILETH runs over to him and grabs his wrists.

VON RILETH: Again, terribly zorry. Let me feex zhis for ju…

Panel 4: Close up on QUANTUM/WOODY’s wrists as VON RILETH knocks the two wrist things they’re wearing together.

SFX: Clang!

Panel 5: Flash of light surrounding QUANTUM/WOODY’s form as he/they split back into QUANTUM and WOODY.

SFX: POWER SPLIT!

Panel 6: QUANTUM and WOODY are lying on the ground next to each other, both feeling highly disoriented.

WOODY: If that never happens again, it’ll be too soon.

VON RILETH: See, about zhat…

(END PAGE)

Quantum and Woody -Buckle Up- Dan Hill

ONE

The first five panels of this page are all thin, long and vertical.

Panel 1: A shot of QUANTUM sat at the bottom of the panel. He’s surrounded by darkness and is looking up towards the top of the panel where dim shafts of light dance around each other.

1. QUANTUM: This--

Panel 2: A shot of nothing but outer space-- stars as far as the eye can see.

2. CAPTION: “--is without--”

Panel 3: A faraway shot of our GALAXY spinning in its place in the vast cosmos.

3. CAPTION: “--a shadow--”

Panel 4: Again, nothing but outer space.

4. CAPTION: “--of a doubt--”

Panel 5: A shot of WOODY hanging upside down from the top of the panel. His feet are shackled by a pair of KIRBY-TECH looking foot restraints. His hands are manacled in a similar fashion. He looks down. We can’t see the floor. Wherever he is, it’s dark.

5. WOODY: --the worst day ever.

Panel 6: WIDE PANEL: A graph showing astro pulses in a graph like presentation. Kind of like this one: /wikipedia/en/6/61/SETI@home_Astropulse_Screensaver.webp

6. CAPTION: 24 hours.

7. CAPTION: Opposite ends of the galaxy.

8. CAPTION: Buckle up.

Quantum and Woody - What Are We Doing Here? - Grant McLaughlin

PANEL ONE

A black panel.  It is the title, as per the Quantum and Woody comics.  It reads in white writing "What Are We Doing Here?".

PANEL TWO

Quantum and Woody stand in line at a fast food joint.  Quantum looks upset, raising his arms in frustration; Woody looks surprised, as if he doesn't understand why Quantum is out of sorts.

1. WOODY: What do you mean?

2. QUANTUM: We have things to do!  We're in the middle of a patrol!  Evil won't stop itself, Woody!

PANEL THREE

The two men are at the front of the line, standing in front of the cashier.  Woody looks at Quantum, responding to his concerns.  Woody also takes the opportunity to order in the middle of his riposte.

3. WOODY: Look, I'm all for stopping evil and whatever, but I need to stop hunger first.

4. WOODY (aside): The Number 2 Combo for me.

PANEL FOUR

The cashier goes to fill out Woody's order.  Woody and Quantum continue to argue off-panel while we focus on the cashier getting the food together.

5. WOODY (off-panel): I mean, how are you not starving?  I haven't eaten since second or third breakfast.  I'm dying over here.

6. QUANTUM (off-panel): You're truly the paragon of a balanced diet.

PANEL FIVE

Woody looks to Quantum to see if he wants anything to eat.  Quantum crosses his arms and stares daggers back, not that Woody seems to notice.  The cashier comes back with Woody's order and looks towards him expectantly.

7. WOODY: Whatever, man.  Last chance here.

8. QUANTUM (icily) : I'll pass, thank you.

PANEL SIX

Quantum's stomach rumbles something fierce, causing him to look down in surprise.  Woody is equally taken aback, putting his arms up to protect himself from the sudden noise.  The cashier is also somewhat shocked.

9. SFX: GURGGLL!

PANEL SEVEN

Quantum puts a hand to his empty stomach.  Looking disappointed in himself, Quantum quietly places an order.  Woody is still shocked by what he's heard, wearing a bit of a blank expression on his face.  The cashier does a better job than Woody of regaining their composure.

10. QUANTUM (quietly): ...some fries and a Coke, please.

Quantum and Woody – Don’t Try This at Home - Ben Rosenthal

1.  A thin black panel running the top of the page.  It is the title, as seen in all Quantum and Woody comics.  It reads in white writing “Don’t Try This at Home”.

2.  Quantum and Woody are addressing a class of high school students.  Both are in their costumes with Quantum standing straight and trying to look professional as he speaks. Woody has his head turn towards the cute female teacher whom is standing near the door listening to them.

QUANTUM

I have trained for years in martial arts and in the meta-sciences. I eat right, don't drink and exercise daily.

WOODY

I played a lot of ‘Duck Hunt’ on the NES.

3.  A close up of Quantum and Woody.  Both are looking at the class (off panel – although it does look as if they are addressing the reader).  Woody has his hand up, pointing to Quantum with his thumb.

QUANTUM

I wear a mask to protect others by concealing my identity.

WOODY

His name is Eric.

QUANTUM

My name IS Quantum.

4.  Still tight on Quantum and Woody.  Woody has reached behind Quantum’s head and his pulling off his mask from behind.  Quantum’s chin and mouth are exposed as he desperately tries to hold his mask in place with both hands as Woody pulls.

WOODY

No, it’s Eric. 

See.

QUANTUM

WOODY!

5.  Still tight on Quantum and Woody who are now almost nose to nose.  Both are becoming equally as frustrated with each other.

QUANTUM

If people find out who I am it would place my loved ones in danger.

WOODY

Loved ones?  You don’t know anyone besides me.

6.  Exactly the same panel as before, with no dialogue.  Quantum and Woody continue to stare at each other intensely.

7.  Quantum has not moved.  Woody is addressing the class/reader once again.

WOODY

We’re not a couple.

Why Quantum and Woody?

A you may have seen, especially over the past few months I (Ben) like funny. Most of all, I like funny in funny books (comics to those of you not stuck in the 1950's).  It is books like Joe Kelly's Deadpool run that have shaped me into the writer I am today - so now you know ho to blame.

However Deadpool wasn't the only character whom I took inspiration from.  In fact I would say he took second place behind the World's Worst Super Hero Team - Quantum and Woody. 

Put simply, due to a scientific accident in their departed dads labs, childood friends Eric and Woody become entwined when their bodies are transformed to pure energy. The only way they can prevent his from happening is by clanging control bands together every 24 hours.  Along with their (well, Woody's) friend Vincent Van Goat the two go about solving crimes and saving the day.

Just don't call them a couple.

You can grab all of the first run of Quantum and Woody over on comixology (thanks to me....true story), and be sure to pre order the NEW Quantum and Woody series coming this June.

In the meantime, place your page featuring the boys below!