Rat Queens - All-New Rat Queens #1 - Niel Jacoby

Full Splash: The Rat Queens(HANNAH, BETTY, DEE, and VIOLET), as humans, are sitting around a large table, with character sheets before them, sullenly rolling dice. The GM, KURTIS, is waiting behind his GM screen for them to finish.

HANNAH: THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT. WE HAVE TO ROLL NEW CHARACTERS, JUST BECAUSE DEE COULDN'T KEEP FROM PULLING A DUMB LEVER?

KURTIS: HEY, SHE SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT THROUGH. NOT LIKE THE DUNGEON WOULDN'T HAVE BOOBY TRAPS.

CAPTION: A SUDDEN TUMBLE--AND FRIENDSHIPS MAY BE DASHED AT THE BOTTOM! WHAT LIES IN STORE FOR THE ALL-NEW RAT QUEENS WHEN ROCKS FALL, AND EVERYONE DIES?

Rat Queens – The Maze – MK Stangeland Jr.

(1 Panel)

Panel 1: Splash page, designed in the style of a classic intro page showing the predicament the heroes have gotten themselves into.

In the center of the panel are BETTY, HANNAH, DEE, and VIOLET, but look like rat versions of themselves. Around them are walls that reach up high and should suggest they’ve gotten themselves trapped inside a maze.

Above them, the ‘ghostly’ image of a the WIZARD MOGGIS (no reference) hangs over them, arms stretched out like he’s doing impressive-looking magic stuff.

SFX: (Background noise, should give an idea that it’s laughter coming from MOGGIS.) MUAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

MOGGIS (1): You RAT QUEENS dare to try stealing from the mighty MOGGIS?

MOGGIS (2): Let’s see how you fare when forced to live up to your name!

VIOLET: I swear, I’m going to chew his ******* eyes out and burrow all the way through his ******* brain…

(END PAGE)

Rat Queens - Ugh - Grant McLaughlin

1 - The Rat Queens are in a dark, dank underground cavern.  They've just come out from being submerged in some dark and totally gross near-liquid and are all covered in its dark gooeyness.  Hannah tries to get it out of her hair, annoyed; Betty wrings out her ponytail, grossed out; and Dee stands drenched, unsure of even where to begin in cleaning herself.  The only one who looks like they're still focused on the task at hand is Violet.

HANNAH: Ugh, dungeon crawling is the worst.

BETTY: I didn't think anything would be less fun than that one we went through last week, but here we are.

2 - Focus on Violet as she tries to knock some of the dark water out of her ears.

VIOLET: How can you guys be down on this?  We made out with a fuckton of swag from that dungeon, and I hear this one has even sweeter loot.

3 - The Queens' attempt to clean up are interrupted by a group of animated skeletons who have shown up and are now surrounding them.  The skeletons have various weapons, armour, and beat up equipment that they wield threateningly.  Violet has her weapons at ready, while the rest of the Queens mostly still look annoyed, still not taking this super seriously.

DEE: Animated skeletons?

HANNAH: So lame.

VIOLET: Don't worry...

4 - Cut to a shop back in Palisade.  The Queens are rather worse for wear, with some rips to their armour, cuts and bruises to their person, and the like.  It also appears they haven't quite figured out how to get out the stain that dark, gross substance.  That being said, they also have a wheelbarrow full of loot (statues, gems, jewlery, relics, and so forth) that looks pretty substantial.  Unfortunately, they stand, dumbfounded and shocked, before a shopkeep who is telling them something they aren't overly keen on hearing.

CAPTION (VIOLET): It'll all be worth it.

VIOLET: What do mean you don't want any of this?!

SHOPKEEP (1): It's not that I don't want it, but I'm not made of gold pieces.  I can't keep paying you for every single ancient artifact you happen to stumble upon!

SHOPKEEP (2): Especially considering all that junk you brought in last week!

5 - Final panel.  Can be relatively small.  We're outside the shop, pulled back a good distance.  The Rat Queens have graffitied and scuffed it up in anger.  They have turned over the wheelbarrow and used some of their loot to damage the building.  Their counterblow struck, they trudge away bitterly.

HANNAH (small text to impress our distance from the characters): Well that totally sucked.

Rat Queens – Pirate Booty – Shaun Richens.

PAGE ONE – 5 PANELS.

1.1

A beautiful, blue, clear day out at sea. A vessel similar to a viking longship sails across the calm seas. The vast sail of the ship bares the Rat Queens logo.

HANNAH (from on-board the ship):

Ugghh

1.2

Cut to aboard the ship. Hannah's arms and head hang over the side of the deck, she looks very pale. She wipes vomit from the the side of her mouth with the back of her hand. Betty sits crossed legged a top a cask in the background. Violet is using a sharpening stone to hone the edge of her longsword. Dee stands beside Hannah, her arms folded across her chest.

HANNAH:

I'm seasick.

DEE:

Of course you are, nothing at all to do with the keg of Orcish mead you got through last night.

HANNAH:

...I'm seasick.

1.3

Cut to the Captain at the helm of the vessel. He is a short human fellow, round of belly and long of beard. He grins revealing a mouth with a single tooth. For such an unsightly man he has an air of joy and charm about him. He rests one hand on the decking in front of him whilst his other arm is out stretched, pointing towards the horizon.

CAPTAIN:

If you can hold you guts for a wee moment lassy you should take a look at that.

1.4

Looking out from the front of the ship, the tip of the ship points towards the horizon and towards an island in the distance. A vast beach, gives way to dense and dark looking jungle and at the very centre of the island is a thin and tall mountain that reaches straight up from the heart of the island towards the sky. It reaches so high as to almost touch the clouds. Massive monstrous black birds can be seen circling the top of the mountain, also dark rain clouds seem to be drawn to the same point despite the clear skies all around.

CAPTAIN (O.P)

Daggerpoint island ladies. The last stop for the good ship Salty Rat.

1.5

Cut to a close up on Hannah, still looking rather delicate shall we say.

HANNAH 1:

Bloody hell...

HANNAH 2:

Bring me more mead.

Why Rat Queens?

I was a D&D kid. Heck I'm still a D&D kid. I've always had a huge amount of love for classic sword and sorcery fantasy. Warriors and wizards doing battle with monstrous creatures and fiendish bandits. D&D got me into storytelling.

At the time I didn't realise it but it was the making up stories bit that I always loved about the game. Don't get me wrong, rolling at d20 and hitting the 18+ you need to fell the Orge, save the day and bag yourself the magic sword was thrilling, but being the Dungeon Master was always the greatest thrill. Weaving a narrative so exciting and compelling that the band of adventures couldn't resist pushing further into the ice mines to discover what the strange echoing voice they could hear was. Or how they couldn't help but fall for the lies of the beautiful maiden who had sent them on the foolish quest in the first place. Every roll of the dice was like a turn of the page, and I got to decide what they saw next.

Playing games when I ten turned me into a storyteller, now fifteen years later I'm still telling stories.

This week I want to get back to my roots, and thanks to Kurtis J Wiebe and Roc Upchurch I have the perfect excuse.

In Rat Queens, this magically duo have grabbed everything I remember so fondly from those hours of rolling dice and created a comic book series that makes ten year old me excited about storytelling all over again.

Rat Queens is my D&D memories all grown up and ready to kick some ass.